Page 37 of #PhiThetaForever

"Don't look at them, dude. If you have to ask their permission to include me in a conversation, then you really can get out. We're supposed to be in a relationship, and we're not supposed to keep things from each other. And the moment you need other peoples permission to be honest and open with me, is literally the moment I am done for good. We all have finals coming up, which is what I was studying for when you all rudely forced us to pack everything up and come back to the dorm without explaining anything. So you know what, better yet, you all can sit here and whisper for hours. But I don't have to do what you say." With that, I walk over to the table next to them, grab my shoulder bag that has my Marine Biology text book and notebook, my purse, and my keys, and walk out of the dorm room.

I don't know what happened at their meeting earlier tonight, but I am not Declan's child. I'm his girlfriend, and while I usually run things by him out of respect for our relationship, I am not going to be lied to, forced to do things, or anything of the sort. Either we're equals or we're not together.

Just before I get to the door, some grabs my arm and spins my around. I've got a string of anger in my chest waiting to come out until I realize it's Sandra. "What?" I snap a little more than probably necessary but so what? I'm kinda pissed at the lot of them.

"Lena, we're sorry. Declan got a text on his way back from the meeting from an unknown number. He didn't want to worry you, but it scared the crap out of him."

"So? What was the text and what does that have to do with dragging me out of the library?"

"It was a picture of you studying saying something about you being 'quite the prize'. Declan said he got this awful feeling in the pit of his stomach when he read it. He and Justus ran the whole way from the church and took you back to your dorm because who ever sent him the text was obviously in the library."

My face falls and I roll my eyes. "For the love of— did he ever stop to think it's someone from Sigma Nu trying to get under his skin? Pretty sure Bo sent that one slut to bother us at the cafe not to long ago. This sounds like something he'd do just to upset Declan and get back at him for leaving. It's not like I'm in danger. This is real life college, not The Vampire Diaries. I'm fine."

"Yeah, well, that's not a theory I wanted to chance tonight," Declan says walking up behind Sandra. She steps to the side and he doesn't stop until his body is flush against mine. He slides his hands against my cheek, cupping the side of my face and tangling his fingers in my hair. "The feeling I got in my chest, my gut, is not something I've ever felt before, Lena. And I can't shake it. Even right now when I can see you're perfectly fine and I'm touching you. It's like I'm literally sitting in the edge of a panic attack. So, just for tonight, can you humor me and stay in your dorm with me. Just give me tonight and see if this feeling goes away. Please?"

The begging and fear that shakes his voice makes my stomach drop. Whatever sense he has really has him shook and now I feel bad for lashing out and leaving. I wrap my arms around his waist and hug him, pressing my head into his chest. His arms slide around me and he kisses the top of my head. "You just should have told me. Stop hiding things to protect me, Declan. Information protects us. Okay?"

He kisses my head again and rubs his hands up and down my back. "Okay, baby. I'm sorry."

Pulling away from him, I take his hand in mine and we head back to my dorm room. I don't like the idea of being on lockdown, and it can last longer than tonight because we have class in the morning. But for tonight, I'll humor him. But just to be a butthead, if we have to stay in the room, we're studying and I'm making him watch Flubber which is one of the few movies Declan actually doesn't like.

So, there. If I have to suffer being punished to my room, he has to suffer through the movie.

39 Declan

I may never ask Lena to ease my mind by staying in again. I was made to endure Flubber, Ferngully, Flubber again, and then A Street Car Named Desire. I don't even think she really likes those movies, she just knows I can't stand them. Though, she does like Marlon Brando. I don't judge her for that. My dad got me into Rita Hayworth. Lena made it clear that even though it's Saturday, we're studying—all day. And possibly most of tomorrow. She's got a calendar on the wall above her headboard with a big red outline around finals week.

"Lena, we stayed up watching those God-awful movies until two in the morning. Please explain to me why I'm up and it's only seven. How beneficial do you think the studying is going to be when we're both running off five hours of sleep, baby?" I flop down on her bed. It's odd, her having the dorm to herself. Darcy stayed at Phi Theta last night for a overnight study session. I'm sure the fact Justus was there had nothing to do with it. Candice and Jackson stayed at our dorm.

"Well, we wouldn't be up so early if you could've chilled out and studied last night. Or if you'd have just stayed and protected me in the library where I was studying. Instead, you drug me back here, we got in a fight, made up, and now we have to make up for the studying time I lost. We have a Calculus final in a week. A week, Declan."

I sigh as she stops in the bathroom doorway, one hand on her hip, the other pointing her toothbrush at me. Holding my hands up in surrender, I chuckle. "Fine. Can we at least get coffee?"

She looks at me like I've grown an extra three heads. "Duh. I'm focused on passing finals, but I'm not a monster." Spinning on her heel, she heads back into the bathroom, and I stand to finish getting all our textbooks, notebooks, index cards, and everything else Lena has to prepare for finals.

When she comes back out wearing leggings and one of her t-shirts, I stare at her with wide eyes. "Babe? How much weight have you lost?"

She glances up at me too quickly as she bends down to slide on her boots. "I don't know. Not much, honestly."

I drop the bags on her bed and walk over, gently grabbing her arms and making her stand up. "Hon, last year that shirt fit you perfectly. It's hanging off you. Is everything okay?"

She smiles at me and pats my cheek. "Yes. I'm fine. Between everything that's happened this semester, and finals coming, I'm just stressed."

I lean down and kiss her, meaning to be sweet and gentle, but the moment my lips touch hers it's like my entire body ignites. The next thing I know, our tongues are consuming each other and my hands travel down her back to her rear-end. As I squeeze and lift her, her legs go around my waist and she moans into my mouth, driving me crazy. Walking backwards blindly, Lena breaks the kiss and cries out a little when her back hits the wall next to the bathroom door. My lips go right to her neck and she tilts her head to the side, tangling her fingers in my hair and I move down to her collarbone and across her shoulder.

As I shift to hold her up better, my excitement grinds into her and she pushes back, and I growl against her skin. This is about to go way too far. I force myself to stop and us one hand to keep holding her up and the other to reach up and cup the side of her neck so she'll look at me. The want and lust dancing in her eyes makes me want to say to hell with everything and keep going, but we made promises about this and if we break them, I know we'll both regret it.

"Damn it, girl. You're going to be the death of me." Her eyes go wide and she apologizes. Wait . . . why is she apologizing. "Lena, Lena, stop. What are you apologizing for?"

She looks down but not before I see the hurt that floods her eyes. "I don't want you to think I'm teasing you on purpose, and I know it's something you want, and I do too, and maybe—"

"Stop." My voice is harsher than I intend and she sniffles. There's tears coming behind that sound. "What the hell brought that on?"

Lena pushes against my chest and I let her down so that she's standing in front of me. She keeps her head down and wipes at her face before ducking around me, picking up random things as she moves toward her bed. "Nothing."

I turn to face her and watch as she moves around. "Don't even do that. Don't shut down on me and tell me it's nothing, Lena."

She sniffles again and then throws her jacket on the bed next to our bags before spinning around to face me. "What do you want me to say?"