Page 98 of Only After We Met
“Am I?”
“I’ve been selfish.”
“That’s not what I meant. Not exactly.”
“It’s true though. When I started at the company, you know, I guess I was on a roll, and I wasn’t really thinking about anyone else. Can we do a reset?”
“Sure.” I smiled and sighed.
51
From: Rhys Baker
To: Ginger Davies
Subject: Happy New Year, Ginger Snap
Here we go again. I celebrated it with a bunch of people, but you’re the person I was thinking of. I don’t know why. Don’t ask. I know I shouldn’t write you when I’ve been drinking, but I keep thinking about you… You feel so far away…and finally I decided to leave the party and come back to the hotel… Alexa still isn’t here.
The moon is round tonight. You know something? It’s not actually a perfect sphere; it’s oval or egg-shaped. The moon’s an egg, what do you think of that, Ginger? Funny, right? Speaking of, I hope that whatever you’re doing right now, you’re having a blast…maybe going a little crazy.
If we lived in the same city, we’d do a different crazy thing together every day. I wouldn’t let you wimp out, no matter what kind of faces you made. I don’t know what I’m getting at; it’s just that I miss you, Ginger. Can you miss a person you’ve onlyever seen twice in your life? I guess it’s that those two nights with you were the best ones I remember. Do you do that ever? Remember them?
Maybe I should stop writing now. I just wanted you to know I’m a shitty friend for being so absent lately and that I miss you, but I think I already said that, and despite everything, you’re one of the most important people in my life…
I found a little bottle of gin in the minibar, so…to your health, Ginger! I don’t know when or how, but I think we should see each other this year.
From: Ginger Davies
To: Rhys Baker
Subject: Happy New Year, Rhys
I was surprised by your email. Sometimes I like drunk Rhys better than sober Rhys. He cuts loose easier. Takes more risks. Anyway…you’re really important to me too, and I don’t like there being distance between us. But sometimes… I do have this feeling like our worlds have pulled apart, you know? I don’t know, your song just blew up so fast, and now your life… Like everything I tell you about my days seems so boring and stupid and routine compared to what you’re up to. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for you. Really. A bunch. You’ve got talent. But just don’t get lost. Okay?
From: Rhys Baker
To: Ginger Davies
Subject: I wouldn’t
Sorry. I reread my message from the other night, and I promised myself I wouldn’t write you again when I was drinking, but now it seems I’m having trouble sticking to it. You know what it is? I’m one of those people who gets nostalgic and sentimental when I’m drunk. Don’t laugh, it’s true.
I won’t get lost, Ginger. I’ve had some weird days, but I think I needed them to remember some stuff. I went to see my mom for Christmas, I didn’t tell you that. Actually, I haven’t told you anything about what’s been going on the past few weeks, but yeah, I saw her. We had spaghetti with melted cheese. And we talked. And I remembered why I love her so much. But at the same time, it scared me because of all that implied.
Sometimes I wish I just didn’t feel anything… That would be easier…
The whole house is still full of photographs. You were right. I think I don’t like them because they’re the prologue to a story that only the people there know about. Like a door. You open it up, and you go inside…and then it’s hard to come back out. Not to mention just the memories themselves… Don’t you think we distort them sometimes? Memories…they’re moldable; they change, depending on the perspective and mind of the person they belong to. I just keep wondering if many of the things I remember might not be true, if there are things in them I couldn’t see because I didn’t have the right information.
Crazy, isn’t it? Anyway…
Don’t ever say again that you think you’ll bore me. It’s not true. I never get bored with you, Ginger. And I like knowing everything about your days, even if it’s just routine stuff. It’sdefinitely more interesting than all the bullshit and stupid little stories I hear every time someone gets introduced to me, and lately that’s all the time.
From: Ginger Davies
To: Rhys Baker
Subject: RE: I wouldn’t