Page 97 of Only After We Met
“I won’t hold it against you, since I started just two years ago,” she said, and we all laughed.
Dean looked at her adoringly. Like a planet revolving around his girlfriend, his sun. It was stupid, but I couldn’t help thinking he’d never looked at me that way before, and that should have told me things weren’t going right.
I held out as best I could, answering the Wilsons every time they asked me something about work. “Yeah, I’m happy there.” “Of course it was worth all that time in school.” “Yeah, we’re lucky; my old roommate Kate still hasn’t found a decent job. It’s tough.”
When dessert came, I was surprised to see Dean getting up to open a bottle of champagne he had put in the fridge to chill. He poured it into glasses my mother kept in a glass cabinet with the special crystal and plateware, the stuff we only used on special occasions. Strangely, Dean didn’t sit down with us.
“Everyone, I have an announcement to make.”
He grabbed Stella’s hand, and she got up too. She seemed nervous, and her cheeks were flushed, even though the heat wasn’t up that high. I looked at Dean and knew what he was going to say. I thought of Rhys. How I wished he was there. How the year before, a few days before my birthday, he had sat at that same table and I had spent the whole meal with a knot in my stomach while we glanced at each other and his knee rubbed mine. And now I was there again, and everything was so different. I didn’t feel better. I didn’t feel more like an adult or more fulfilled. I wasn’t happy.
“Stella and I…we’re going to get married.”
“Oh my God, Dean!” My mother got up, excited, came around the table, and hugged him so tight I was afraid the poor guy’s head would pop off. Then she kissed Stella loudly on the cheek. “I’m so happy for you both! You make a wonderful couple!”
“Congratulations, champ!” Dad squeezed his shoulder.
I congratulated them both, too, once Donna was finished. They talked about wedding preparations while we ate dessert and toasted the good news. They were going to do it in May. It would be a simple ceremony, intimate…
“I’ll clear the table, Mom; don’t bother getting up,” I said, stacking the dirty plates and taking them to the kitchen. She thanked me and looked back at Stella, who was now talking about what kind of dress she wanted to wear.
I left the dining room and put the plates in the sink. I decided to wash them by hand since the dishwasher was full. I had just rolled up my sleeves when Dean came in and stood next to me. He grabbed the soap.
“What are you…?”
“I’m helping out.”
“There’s no need.”
“Just let me.”
“Fine.”
Elbow to elbow, we started scrubbing. The silence was uncomfortable, but I didn’t completely understand why. I was happy for him. I wasn’t jealous. It was something else. Maybe…I just wanted the same for myself. Or something like it. I don’t know. I was having a hard time; I was disappointed in everything. I hoped it would pass.
“Aren’t you going to say anything?” he asked.
“About what? I already told you…”
“You’re happy for me. Right. Are you sure?”
“Dammit, Dean, of course I am.”
“Okay. I just… I was worried. I didn’t want to hurt you, Ginger.I know it’s been two years since we broke up, but I also know I told you I needed time…but with Stella, everything happened overnight. I guess it was love at first sight. These things happen, don’t they? When you least expect it.”
I dried my hands with a rag and turned to him.
“Dean, it’s great, honestly. I’m telling the truth. Stella seems amazing, and you basically drool every time you look at her. I’m sure you’ll be super happy together.”
“Then…why are you like this?”
“Like what?”
“You know. Mad at me.”
“That has nothing to do with the wedding. It’s just that at work… I don’t know, Dean, you acted like you didn’t know me. I understand that our relationship was basically that way in our last year at college too, but you could have recognized I was having a tough time. You could have invited me to have coffee with everyone on morning break, you know. I’m not saying it’s your fault, but…”
“You’re right.” He cut me off.