Page 78 of All That We Are Together
“You told me you had a meeting with Professor Martin today.” We’d texted two days before, and, I don’t know why, I’d had the urge to talk to him about internships and my insecurities, because neither of my options satisfied me fully, and I knew he’d have something to say. “I had some errands to run,” he said. “Plus I wanted to talk to you.”
His nervous expression wasn’t lost on me.
We got in his car, and as he turned onto the road, I watched the movement of the windshield wipers.
“What did you want to talk about?” I asked.
“It’s something touchy. Can we wait?”
“Landon’s coming to get me from the dorm in a half hour. Plus you’re scaring me. Is this anything I should be worried about?”
“No, it’s nothing bad. The opposite, actually.”
He didn’t say anything else until he parked in front of my building. He took the keys from the ignition. The rain was plunking against the windshield and soaking everything. It would be nice to paint something like that, I thought: blurry, diffuse, chaotic.
Axel took a deep breath, then began: “A few days ago, Hans called me to discuss a project he wants you to take part in. He needs someone young, no more than twenty-five. There’s a grant to participate in a series of exhibitions with artists from a numberof countries. It’s a big opportunity. The grant will cover all your expenses, including room and board and a studio…”
“I’ve got a studio, though,” I said.
“It’s in Paris.”
“Are you kidding?” I replied.
“No, Leah. Listen…”
“There’s no way! I can’t go!”
“Why?” he asked.
“There’s a million reasons. I have to do my internship. And my life is here, Axel. I can’t just up and move thousands of miles away. You know how hard it is for me to be alone, how hard it was for me to come to Brisbane. I was so scared…”
He held my chin between his fingers.
Our eyes locked.
“I’ll go to Paris with you, babe.”
And those eyes…that way of touching me…
I looked away and opened the door. I got out, despite the rain, and I ran to the dorm. I’d just stuck the keys in the lock when I felt his presence behind me. I didn’t turn around. I headed straight for the stairs. As I climbed them, he was hot on my heels, leaving a trail of water behind us.
“Axel, you need to go,” I said when I reached my room.
He ignored me, standing instead in the middle of the room with his back stiff and his jaw clenched while I opened my closet to take out dry clothes.
I was so nervous I wanted to giggle. How could something like this occur to him? Going with him to the other end of the planet was riskier than Russian roulette. It had only been a month that I’deven been able to tolerate his presence, forcing myself to remember he was a friend, that what happened in his house was just a ripple in our story compared with his being family my whole life.
I tried to go into the bathroom, but Axel blocked my path. His overwrought eyes roved my face and settled on my own eyes.
“What are you so scared of?”
“You know. I told you already.”
“And I promised you that you wouldn’t be alone.”
“I don’t care. Let me through; I need to change.”
He didn’t move. My legs trembled, knowing he was so close.