Page 42 of All That We Are Together
“I know, Oliver. You shouldn’t do it anyway. You shouldn’t use all your days off coming to see me. It’s not fair to you and it’s not fair to Bega.”
“Nothing’s more important than seeing you, pixie.”
“I’m a big girl now, Oliver.”
“Not for me. Never,” he joked. “I did manage to switch shifts with someone to go to the exhibition. And before you complain, Bega’s coming with me. We’ll stick around for a few days. I want to introduce her to the Nguyens and show her the town.”
I smiled, because I loved Bega, and I was happy my brother had met the love of his life when he least expected it, at a time when he had to leave his entire world behind to take care of me and pay for my school. It was as if fate had given him back a little of that generosity. I’d had the opportunity to get to know Bega better over the two summers when I traveled to Sydney to spend a few days at my brother’s place, and she was perfect for him. She was strong-willed and could come off as cold at first, but she melted every time Oliver looked at her.
“Fantastic,” I said.
“We’ll all be together.”
“Yeah.”
“How are things going with Axel?”
“They’re going. I think. Off and on.”
“Doesn’t sound that great…”
“It’s complicated, Oliver.”
Talking to my brother about this was too. In fact, we’d never even done it, apart from those early days when I couldn’t stop crying and trying to convince him that what Axel and I had was real. I still remembered Oliver’s answer: “You don’t know Axel. You don’t know what he’s like when he gets into a relationship, how he just shoves away all the things that stop interesting him. Has he ever told you how he stopped painting? Has he ever told you how when something gets complicated, he refuses to fight for it? He’s got his black holes too.”
Once he’d seen he was right, we never dug those memories up again. I don’t think either of us really realized that sometimes life takes unexpected turns, and you might end up missing a friend you thought you’d never need again, or a lost love who crept back into your life almost without permission…
“Did he do something wrong?” he asked.
“No.” Actually, he’d behaved incredibly well, too well for him. I was surprised he didn’t ask me any uncomfortable questions, but I knew him well enough to have all my barriers up.
“If you ever have any problems…”
“I’ll tell you,” I said, cutting him off, and laughed.
“Cool. We’ll see each other in a week then.”
“Yeah. Give Bega a kiss for me.”
“And you enjoy being home for me.”
My brother’s voice turned nostalgic just before he hung up. I stayed there on the café patio for a while looking at the gleaming sea under the last light of day and asking myself what blend of colors I’d use to recreate it and round out the shadows and details. Then I realized I didn’t have a studio or paints here, or anywhere I could pour out all those things shifting inside me.
I asked myself how long I could hold it all in.
It was almost nighttime when I turned away from the beach and disappeared among the streets and memories. I checked the address on my phone before ringing the doorbell of a small white house, two stories, with a pretty garden.
She greeted me with a huge smile.
“Leah!” Blair hugged me so tight I started laughing. We hadn’t seen each other in months, not since the last time she’d gone to Brisbane to run errands and we’d had lunch together. “Sorry, I’m gonna crush you.” She let me go and took a step back.
I was excited when I saw her round belly.
“You’re huge!” I shouted.
“Believe me, I know. I look like a spinning top.”
“Don’t be silly,” Kevin interrupted as he came into the living room. “You’re beautiful.” He caressed her belly.