Page 76 of A Heart of Little Faith

Gideon froze as the fury from last night and this morning threatened to boil over. The stillness magnified the tick of the kitchen clock, the whir of the coffee maker, the hum of the refrigerator. Tony put his hand over Samantha’s. She backed down, and Gideon thawed.

“Gideon, I love you,” Samantha said as her tone softened. “You know that. And I haven’t seen you happier than when you were with Lily. The two of you were perfect together.”

Memories washed over him. Her laughter pealed in his ear, her jasmine scent overshadowed the rich aroma of fresh-made coffee, and her sweet kisses made his lips tremble. He flared his nostrils as he concentrated on breathing; even that task required his complete attention, because every moment of every day she was there, a part of him. And now, without her, he was ripped open.

“I know you have this thing about Elaine, but do you want to let her wreck your happiness again?”

Gideon cleared his throat. He didn’t trust himself to speak. He swallowed. “It’s too late, Sam.”

She leaned over, hugged him hard and walked out the door. Tony paused.

“I don’t agree with your choice, Gideon, but I’ll support you no matter what. You know that, don’t you?”

He blinked. “Yes,” he rasped, grateful for Tony’s friendship. They clasped hands, and Tony followed Samantha out the door. Gideon grabbed a picture frame and threw it across the room. When it shattered, he bowed his head as their footsteps echoed in the hall.

Chapter 27

Lily wrapped her hair around her hand and yanked. Pain surged through her scalp and she clamped her lips together and loosened her grip. She dropped her head and counted to ten then returned her focus to her computer.

The Rapture account had heated up and required her to put in long hours at the office and bring work home as well. With her concentration at an all-time low, the most mundane tasks took her twice as long to do. Lack of sleep didn’t help—she spent most nights staring at the ceiling as she attempted not to think of Gideon. She wanted to crawl into bed and never come out again. Except if she did, she’d fall even more behind in her work. While Anne offered sympathy, she expected Lily to put her best effort into this new account. The upcoming trade show had to be perfect.

Later, Lily stumbled home from work, exhausted.Maybe it’s a blessing in disguise.She didn’t notice the crisp fall air or the colorful leaves of the trees. The more hours she put into her work, the less time she could think about Gideon. She’d volunteered to attend the trade show so she didn’t have to think.

Then of course, there was Claire. When Daniel had died, Claire was too young to understand what happened. Now, her daughter realized Gideon didn’t call, and noticed Lily crying. When Lily finally told her, Claire became hysterical.

“But I love Gideon, Mommy. I want to see him.”

Pain sliced through her, almost making her gasp. “I know sweetie, but you can’t right now. Maybe in a few weeks when things settle down, but it’s not going to work right now.”

“But why not? Doesn’t he miss me too? He loves me and it’s not fair you’re not letting us talk to each other. You’re mean!” She’d run to her room and it was only after an hour that Lily had been able to calm her enough to go to sleep.

When she’d woken this morning, Claire was still angry. Her teacher called Lily at lunchtime and Lily was forced to explain the situation to her. Another call to the guidance counselor had at least given her some ideas how to handle the situation, but it would be rough for a while.

Her steps slowed as she approached her apartment. Her stomach clenched. What kind of storm did she face? She paid Tara and went into her daughter’s room. Claire sat at her desk doing homework. Lily leaned over, kissed her and let out a deep breath. Claire didn’t pull away, but she didn’t appear overjoyed to see her, either. However, it was a big improvement over last night.

“Hi, sweetie. How was your day?”

“Fine.” Claire kept her attention focused on her homework.

“I heard you talked with Mrs. Newman.”

“Yeah.”

“Did she help you?”

Claire turned to her. “I don’t understand why you had to wreck everything with Gideon.”

Lily sighed and sat on the bed. She massaged her temples, her blood pulsing beneath the surface. How could she explain to a seven year old that sometimes, a person was too broken to fix? Her throat was thick and she forced the words out. “Claire, I love you more than anything. You know that right?”

“More than you love Gideon?”

Lily swallowed. “More than anything.” Claire watched her. “I know how much you love him and I wish my actions didn’t have to hurt you. But unfortunately, sometimes grownups can’t be together, even if they love each other.” The child remained mute. “I know you miss Gideon, honey, and I do too. I’m not saying you can’t see him, I’m just saying we have to figure out how to make everyone happy, without hurting people any more than they’re already hurt, okay?”

Claire nodded. “Could I talk to him on the phone sometimes?”

“I know he’d love that, sweetheart. We’ll discuss it with Samantha and see what we can arrange, okay?”

Claire hugged her. “I wish things could be the way they were.”