Page 77 of A Heart of Little Faith
She scrubbed a hand over her face. “I know honey, so do I.”
Over the next couple of weeks, Lily buried herself in Claire and work. She spoke to Samantha and arranged for Claire to speak to Gideon on the phone once a week. The idea felt awkward, but Claire wanted the connection to him.
She and Samantha continued to have brunch on Sundays, but Lily refused to discuss Gideon. He was Samantha’s brother and she didn’t want to put her friend in the middle. However, avoiding the topic gave it more importance, and Lily longed for the future when avoiding Gideon wouldn’t feel like such an effort.
Often, she thought she heard him in the hall going to, or coming from, Samantha’s apartment, and she’d stand near her door and listen. She never went outside, but rested her head on the door and felt like a peeping Tom. She wished she knew why he couldn’t trust her, wished they’d been able to talk it out, but that would never happen. And she was sick of not being trusted. She didn’t deserve this treatment. Only, getting angry made her sad.
At work, she wrote press releases, position statements and marketing plans for Rapture, plus made media appointments for the trade show. At the last minute, Anne arranged a meeting with a potential pharmaceutical client for the last day of the trade show. Lily didn’t often handle pharmaceutical clients, but this one was developing a software program for the pharmaceutical industry and asked her firm for marketing help to the technology outlets. Lily squeezed them in at Anne’s request.
While Lily was away, Samantha and Tara would watch Claire. She appreciated their support; without it, she wouldn’t be able to travel. And without the traveling, she’d have a lot less work to do, and a lot more time to think. The more she considered this, the happier she was she’d volunteered. Lily suspected Claire would also visit with Gideon, but she never asked, and no one mentioned anything to her.It’s probably better that way, for everyone involved. No matter how jealous of her daughter she might be.
****
Gideon sat at his home computer, disgusted with himself.
It had been six weeks since he and Lily broke up and he still couldn’t get out of his funk. The only people who tolerated him were Tony and Samantha. His friends, although polite, stopped calling and inviting him out. The boys at the center still depended on him, but now they stared at him with wary expressions as they waited for him to blow up. He coached basketball and helped with their homework, but the easy camaraderie was gone and he didn’t know how to retrieve it. Conversations with Claire were difficult, despite how much he enjoyed them. He didn’t think she noticed the change in him, or at least he hoped not. She sounded happy to talk to him about school and her friends. He’d change the subject when she started to mention Lily, but she slipped in snippets of information Gideon obsessed over for the rest of the week.
Work provided him the only break from his own thoughts. So, he immersed himself in it. He stayed late at the office, brought papers home with him, traveled as often as possible and volunteered for projects he normally wouldn’t have taken. His sister wouldn’t let him off the hook, so what little free time remained he spent with her, or with her and Tony. As he passed Lily’s door on the way to Samantha’s, he would try not to glance at it, or listen for noise from inside, knowing it would be the end if he did it. He was miserable, and did a good job of making everyone around him miserable, too. Gideon vowed when he finished this next round of travel, he’d reevaluate his life and start working on being a nicer person.
He went to work on Wednesday, ready to clear his desk in preparation for his next trip. With meetings in two cities in three days, he intended on leaving work early today to rest before leaving for the airport.
As he approached his office, Stella waylaid him. She hadn’t been happy with him for breaking things off with Lily, and she’d had no qualms about showing her displeasure. Although she’d offered loads of sympathy after his accident, she had apparently changed her strategy since then, because she brought Lily and Claire up any chance she got. She favored pouring salt on wounds rather than salve, because the more he balked at her tactics, the worse she got, asking when he planned to call Lily and beg her forgiveness, or if he’d stopped by her apartment on his way to Samantha’s. He cringed inwardly as she came to him.
“Your itinerary is set, along with all the supporting materials.” Her clipped tone and accompanying tone assured him today would be no different than any other recent day. “I have a car picking you up from your apartment today at five and another one driving you home on Saturday night.” She cocked her head to the side. “Did you tell the boys at the center, and Claire, you’re going away for a few days?”
“Of course I did, Stella. I always do, you know.”
“Yes, well, I just wanted to double check. I’d hate for you to let them down,” she said, and added “again” under her breath. Her voice was loud enough for Gideon to hear, and he fumed as he entered his office. If she wasn’t good at her job, and if he didn’t have such a history with her, he’d fire her, because hers was the voice of reason he was trying to ignore.
He shut the door and remained inside until he finished his work. Then he packed his briefcase and left.
****
Lily arrived Wednesday evening at The Inn at Penn, in Philadelphia. Back in her old stomping grounds, the city that gave off such a different vibe than New York. Here, buildings were shorter and more sky was visible. Historic houses from Revolutionary times mixed with modern office spaces. There were fewer people, but more students at the surrounding colleges.
She called Claire to say goodnight, showered, changed and met Anne downstairs in the lobby for a working dinner. At least, Anne ate; Lily picked at her salad and moved food around on her plate. Not even the crisp lettuce, aromatic garlic bread or Anne’s fragrant bowl of clam chowder tempted her. If Anne observed her lack of appetite as she perused her notes, she said nothing.
“Okay,” said Anne, “Rapture wants us to sit in on their press tour. I figure you can take the morning appointments and I’ll take the afternoon ones. Okay?”
“That’s fine.” Lily jotted notes in her calendar, glad for the excuse not to eat. “What about lunch or dinner meetings?”
“Lunches are free. We’ve got Rapture for dinner tomorrow night, and on Friday late afternoon we have the pharmaceutical presentation.”
“Right. Why don’t we get together tomorrow night after dinner to rehearse?”
“Fine. In the meantime, why don’t you get some sleep? You look exhausted.”
Lily averted her gaze. “Gee thanks, Anne, I love you, too,” Lily snapped. Abashed, she softened her sarcasm with a smile.
“I only comment ‘cause I care,” Anne replied. “Besides, I’d hate for you to scare the client away before we get a chance to wow them with our amazing skills.”
Lily snorted and rose, and they headed to their rooms.
****
The next morning, both were on the show floor by eight with the marketing people from Rapture. While Lily supported them during media interviews, Anne listened in to the product demonstrations and toured the rest of the showroom floor. In the afternoon, they switched; then off to Twenty21 for dinner.
After dinner, Anne and Lily worked out their presentation for the next day. Lily took the lead and Anne provided backup, since Lily would be point-person if the client hired them. By the time the women finished, it was eleven o’clock and Lily flopped into bed, exhausted. Her body ached from spending so much of her day in heels and her face was stiff from faking a smile. Despite her exhaustion, she barely slept, as usual unable to sink into anything more than a drifting, semi-awake kind of sleep all night.