Page 26 of Wrapped in Winter

“I’ll leave you to your girls. I’m going to sit right here and grab a drink myself. You look beautiful, babe. Let me know if you need something.”

I take the tray and walk back to the table, replaying the word babe in my head. “I see your boy toy has arrived,” Blossom says.

“That’s not a boy toy; that's a daddy,” Meadow responds.

My body tenses at her choice of words. “Will you guys stop it? The only boy toy I see is behind the bar, and, Meadow, you better be careful. I think he’s almost to your level.”

“Almost is not the same,” she replies, studying her nails, but I see her eyes twinkle.

I slide into the booth next to Courtney and she talks low to me. “I saw you and Drake speaking. Your face was a bit unreadable for a minute”.

I brush her off. “It’s fine. He was just asking about Lily.”

She studies me, and I grab one of the shots and take it. I reiterate his words about Lily and how he called her our girl. Courtney slides her shot to me too. “Looks like you could use this more than me.”

“Are you going to get us home?”

Courtney says, “Always, now drink up sister.”

So I do. I take the other shot and chase it with my beer. Suddenly my emotions and my thoughts are running wild. “Why would a young guy want to date someone with a kid?” I ask Courtney quietly. Blossom and Meadow are talking and don’t pay us any attention.

She shrugs. “I don't think age has anything to do with it, and besides, he’s not that much younger. I think Drake is a nice guy, and some guys are ready for that and some aren't. Some married guys aren’t even ready, and you and I both know that for sure.”

“Jack was busy working for you two; it’s not that he didn’t want the family. But why would a single guy want to step right into a relationship with such a complication?”

“Lily isn’t a complication, and any guy you feel is good enough would be lucky to know her.”

My mind spins with possibilities and scenarios that I have no business thinking about right now. Would it be so bad? Could I let him in? Would he fully accept us both?

I’m ready to go home. Being with the girls is always great, and they meant well bringing me out, but being back here, knowing Drake is only a few feet away, is messing with my head. I’m getting flashes of us together, and it’s making me want to act on the same impulses as last time.

My phone goes off and I see a text.

Drake: Meet me in our spot.

My heart thunders in my chest, and the excitement that zips through me at knowing he’s thinking the same things as me leaves me feeling like a teenager with a crush.

I excuse myself from the table and walk down the hallway, but before I make it there, I’m pulled through the next door and find myself inside the stockroom. Drake is on me, kissing me like his life depends on it, and I let it happen because I feel like my lifedoesdepend on it.

“I’m sorry. I needed to do that from the minute I saw you standing at the bar. I couldn’t wait any longer, but I didn’t think you wanted to give the bar a show.”

I close my eyes and smile, but say, “We shouldn’t do this.”

He puts his forehead against mine, his breathing heavy. “Don’t say that, January. Don’t put rules on this.”

“I need rules though, Drake.”

“Okay… so we make some for us. Rule number one, I get to take you out two times a week without an argument. Rule number two, I get to bring your daughter cookies. And rule number three, no fucking in the bathroom. At least not public ones.”

I laugh and drop my head, but he tilts my chin up to meet his eyes. “I told you I’m not going anywhere. If I have to wait for you to see that, I will.”

“How can you say that? You’re in a brand new town. How do I know you won’t pick up and leave like your last city?”

“Is that what you’re worried about? That I’m going to leave?”

I nod ever so slightly. I am worried that he’s going to leave, though I don’t want to admit that. The two men I thought would stick around didn’t. I can’t help but think about what could happen. I also know it's crazy to think everybody I come in contact with will die, but it’s not just death and it’s not just about me. I’m worried about Lily getting attached and then having to explain to her why they’re gone. It’s bad enough to go through it myself, learning how to deal with it and move on, but if I had to explain it to my daughter, it would kill me that much more. I want to shield her from the pain of losing someone, at least for a little while.

“Small towns are boring.”