Page 29 of That Summer
“You’re telling me.”
“Maybe he wants you to be jealous?”
Eyes narrowed into tiny little slits, she said, “Yeah, and how does that work? Remember, as far as he knows I know nothing. He doesn’t know Lucas and I are hanging out.”
“Have you ever seen them together?”
“Who? Nate and Marissa?” She shook her head and readjusted. “No.”
The shrink leaned forward, accusation clouding his voice. “Ever think that maybe Lucas is feeding you a line?”
A smidgen of doubt crept into her mind. There had been no evidence, just hearsay.
Jerk. How dare you?
She rubbed her neck to loosen the knot forming. “And what? Are you saying he’sactingall pissed off whenever her name gets mentioned?”
“Perhaps he’s doing it to make you jealous.”
“Yeah, right. Why would he do that??”
“Because jealousy can make you do some crazy things, and also, some amazing things. Right now, you’re trying to beat your PTSD. In a way, your jealousy fuels that push—that desire—to win against it.”
Her jaw clenched as did her fists. “I’m not jealous of Nate’s relationship. He can go on and make babies with Marissa for all I care.” But she didn’t believe that.
“Really? If that were the case, he wouldn’t be the first thing on your list.”
As her anger simmered, so did her tone. “He’d never have the life with me that he could have with her. Nate and I are so different, on so many levels. Marissa is everything I wish I could be.”
“That’s the jealousy talking.”
“It is not.” She shook her head “It’s the truth. She’s beautiful and into cars. She races them too. She’s smart and can probably give Nate a dozen kids.”
“So you’re not into cars. Big deal. Opposites attract.”
“Yes. The girl with vehicular post-traumatic stress disorder falls in love with a race car driver. You can’t get much more opposite than that.” A large sigh escaped her as she rolled her eyes.
“This is true.” He leaned forward and put his elbows on his knees, steepling his fingers together. Seconds ticked by on the clock, their sound echoing throughout the room. Leaning back, he finally said, “Twice in the span of a minute you brought up someone giving Nate babies. Care to explain?”
She shrugged, brushing off his comment. “I’m incapable. The accident wrecked my uterus, and they removed it during one of the surgeries.”
A simple nod, but one that had him reaching for the file folder once again. Pen in hand, he made a note on one of the papers. “Sorry. That should be in here. There’s never been any mention of it.”
“Because I don’t make it a habit of telling people I can’t have children.”
The file folder hit the table once again. “Does Nate know?”
“Yes.”
“Okay.” He shifted in his seat. “Let’s get back to the list, shall we?”
“Is it wrong?”
His attention deviated from the table up to her. “Is what wrong?” A tip from his head as the question hung in the air.
“Is it wrong to have Nate as my number one? Even though I’m not with him, and there’s no future family with him if we ever got back together, is it wrong that he’s still on my list? I mean, that would mean I’m putting my dependence on happiness into a guy rather than finding it on my own, right?”
“I think you read too much into this exercise.”