Page 9 of The Defenseman
5
Alexa
Alexa didn't like to think that the reason why part of her relationship didn't work out was because of her choices. She considered herself an excellent girlfriend and always went above and beyond for Tim, even when she didn't necessarily want to. Even when it meant putting his needs before hers.
Except when it came to sex.
However, as she sat with his words, Alexa could not help but wonder about her choices. Was sex really as important to the relationship as some people said? It was hard for her to say one way or the other because she never had sex in the first place. She didn't understand what it felt like to have sex or the emotions that stemmed from physically showing your love for someone. She had only seen it on television and in the movies, and even then, she felt it was overdone.
When her mother had had The Talk with her, she seemed to imply the only good thing to come out of sex was reproduction—but only if you were with the right guy. The last thing Alexa wanted at this point in her life was to become a mom, and since sex seemed overhyped and unnecessary, she didn't want to participate in it if she could help it.
Alexa stared up at her ceiling. She refused to turn over and check the clock on her phone again. It still had to be past three, and all she could think about was Eric and what he told her.
Eric had a lot of sex, she knew. He didn't try to hide it—it was one of the reasons she came to him in the first place. If he was telling her that sex was important in a relationship, maybe she had interpreted it wrong. Maybe her mom was wrong.
Alexa sighed, closing her eyes and rubbing her temples. She needed sleep. But sleep was elusive.
- - -
The next morning, there was a knock on the door, interrupting Alexa from her restless slumber. She groaned and threw her legs over the side of the bed before forcing herself into a sitting position. Someone knocked again.
This time, she did check her phone.
6:07AM.
Who the hell was at her door this early in the morning?
She pushed herself up to a standing position and padded over to the peephole. When she saw Eric there, standing outside her door in a tracksuit with disheveled blond hair, she frowned and proceeded to unlock the door. Was everything okay? Was her brother okay? As far as Alexa could remember, they hadn't scheduled their next lesson.
Just as Alexa got the door open and dropped her mouth, ready to ask if everything was okay, Eric placed one hand on her cheek, the other one on the small of her back, holding her against him, leaned down, and placed his lips on hers.
Alexa was paralyzed.
The kiss was overwhelming and perfect. It took her breath away. Slowly, her eyes came to a close and her arms—which had instantly felt like anchors plummeting to the sea floor—lifted and coiled around his neck. She wanted to pull him closer to her but she wasn't sure if she wanted to get more intimate with him than she already was. Truth be told, she felt as though she was kissing for the first time.
Which was silly.
She had never had sex before, hadn't done a lot of sexual things before, but kissing was something she had done, something she liked. And yet, Eric made her feel like this was all brand new. He made her feel as though she was inexperienced but not lacking in skill. More like when she tasted chocolate for the first time as a baby and how she got addicted to it and craved it almost instantly.
His lips gently prodded hers, teasing them just so. Somehow, they were soft and coaxing, like a stranger's voice trying to tempt a child closer and closer to a windowless van. He was dangerous, someone not to be trusted—at least with how he was making her feel. But Alexa still wanted more, so she stepped closer to him, held tighter to him, and opened her mouth and let him enter her.
His tongue slid inside with no hesitation. At first, he was tentative, as though it was doing a cursory glance around.
Before she could stop herself, a whimper fell out of her mouth. Her eyes snapped open and she stilled. She could feel her heart pounding against her chest. Had she ruined it? Had he even her? Maybe the whimper wasn't enough to stop him. Maybe he hadn't heard her at all.
Eric pulled away but didn't go far. He rested his forehead on hers, breathless. Such a strange sight, because Eric was not the sort of guy to get breathless. He was cool, calm, collected, always. He was the cool guy who had always been out of her league, and he had just delivered the best kiss she had ever had in her life. And what was even crazier than all of that was the fact that this was all pretend. This kiss did not mean anything.
At least, it wasn't supposed to.
"Do it again." The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them. They betrayed her sense of desperation, her sudden desire to be overwhelmed by Eric once again.
Eric's eyes snapped open. Instead of being the crystal blue she was used to, his eyes looked stormy, dark, filled with…she wasn't sure. She had never seen that look on his face before. Granted, she hadn't known him that well, hadn't spent that much time with him before, but this made her feel both nervous and desperate.
He took his time. Alexa figured he was trying to figure out if he wanted to do it again or not. He curled errant strands of hair behind her ear, and she looked up at him with wide eyes, trying not to stare at the perfection that was his face, but then again, not being able to look away. She had control over her breathing finally and since the silence was loud, had to ensure that she wasn't panting like some kind of desperate dog. His fingers lingered behind her ear before they dropped to her neck and held her throat with a firm hold. He wasn't choking her, but Alexa recognized a power position, even if she wasn't terribly familiar with all things sex.
"You want me to kiss you again?" he asked slowly, his thumb tracing the column of her throat.
Her entire body was set on fire, like she was a witch and she would die for her crimes tonight. She didn't care. If she needed to be lit up, then she would pour some lighter fluid on herself just to make the flames taller.