Page 10 of The Defenseman

"Why?" he wanted to know.

Alexa opened her mouth, ready to respond, but no words came out. She wasn't sure what to say to that. Shouldn't he know? Or was he just stroking his ego?

"Tell me," he instructed gently, his voice coaxing, tempting.

Her eyes closed voluntarily, just imagining his lips on hers once again. She wanted it. Even if that meant telling him something she really didn't want to talk about.

"Because it was the best kiss I've ever had," she told him. She didn't know where she got the courage to pick her head up and look him in the eyes when she said the words but she did. "Because I want to know if it was a fluke, or if it's because you know how to kiss like that. I want to feel the way your kiss made me feel again."

Eric did not need to be told twice, it would seem. He was already leaning toward her before the last word of her sentence was out and when she finally finished her sentence, he captured her lips with his. At first, the positioning of where they both were made the kiss slightly awkward, only because they were sitting on the couch together, twisting their bodies to meet one another in the middle. He touched her face with his palm tentatively and she placed one hand on his chest. His beating heart—rapid and fast—pounded against her palm, taking her by surprise. It almost seemed as though he was just as nervous as she was—which had to be impossible.

The kiss, like the last one, started tentatively. It felt like Eric thought she would suddenly change her mind and he didn't want to be too deep in the kiss before that happened.

However, it was much quicker for him to invade her mouth, to take control of the situation, to tighten his grip on her cheek and to tilt her head back so he had better access to every inch of her mouth. She wasn't even fighting him. Wasn't scared or nervous. She wanted Eric to completely dominate the situation. There was a small part of her that liked feeling helpless.

It made no sense to Alexa.

The reason she was trying to educate herself with Eric in the first place was so she could be more in control, more experienced, more mature. And yet, Eric had an innate ability to curl her toes, to cause her to make some sounds she had never heard fall from her lips before.

It was confusing and tantalizing, and Alexa wasn't sure if she wanted to continue this freefall into the contradiction or if she wanted to go back to being ignorant.

Because ignorant meant safe. Ignorant meant that her pelvis didn't throb with forbidden desire and her core didn't moisten her thighs. She didn't feel shudders rip down her spine and cause her nipples to harden.

All of this just from a kiss.

Alexa couldn't even imagine what happened when things got more intimate, when they got deeper. Her heart skipped a beat at the thought but she didn't pull away from the kiss. Her fingers ran through his blond hair, tugging at the roots, causing him to let out a soft, approving moan. She gasped. She hadn't expected to be able to elicit something like that from him.

Like she had power over him.

When they finally had to break apart in order to replenish their lungs with air, Alexa leaned forward so her head rested on his chest. Eric's arms wrapped around her waist, and she immediately felt her knees nearly give out. She was a pile of goo, turning into liquid, and seeping into the carpet of her apartment. Her heart beat against her chest like an angry parent trying to get into a rebellious teenager's room, and she worried that there was a chance that Eric could feel how erratic it was, how completely boneless she was now.

"Are kisses," she felt herself asking, "are kisses supposed to feel like that?"

It was a question that revealed just how inexperienced she was. If she weren't still recovering from the kiss, she would have been embarrassed that she was practically painting a red sign on her forehead that spelled out her innocence.

Eric was silent for a moment. Alexa wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. Perhaps he was thinking of a nice way to respond. Perhaps he wasn't sure what to say at all.

After another moment passed, Alexa was about to write Eric off as not willing to answer—at least not yet—when she felt him move. Furrowing her brow, she tilted her head up so she could see him shake his head.

"No," he told her. "Kisses don't always feel like that. In fact, they rarely do."