Page 8 of The Defenseman

"Yes."

"And in that time, he didn't push you to have sex with him?" he asked.

"He did," Alexa said.

"Well, you were all set on marrying him," Eric pointed out. "If you weren't saving yourself for marriage, why not have sex with him?"

Alexa bit her bottom lip and tilted her head to the side, thinking. The gesture caused the column of her throat to be exposed and Eric couldn't help but let his eyes linger on her skin. He wanted to put his mouth there, to take the skin between his teeth and leave hickies up and down in order to stake his claim.

"Honestly, I don't know," Alexa said slowly. He could tell she was choosing her words carefully, but there was some awe to her voice as though she hadn't given his question much thought. "I guess it never just felt right."

"Can I tell you something?" Eric leaned forward. He watched as her eyes widened and her spine stiffened. He pressed his lips together to keep himself from smiling a feral smile at her, like she was his prey and he was going to corrupt her. She nodded her head. "That's an excuse."

Her eyebrows shot up. "Excuse me?" she asked. She was surprised by his words but wasn't offended, though her words were sharp.

"It's an excuse," Eric repeated. "The thing about being in a serious relationship with someone is that it has to have balance. It ensures the relationship is well-rounded, right? It has to be emotional and physical and, some would argue, spiritual. So, if you only have one part of that—the emotional part—your relationship isn't complete."

Alexa rubbed her lips together. "So this is my fault?" she asked.

"Anytime there's a breakup, there are always two people in play," Eric said. "It's one of the reasons I don't get involved with people at all. I think you're afraid of the physical aspect of the relationship, and I think Tim was over it and didn't want to wait around for it after a year had already passed. That doesn't say anything about you and everything about him. What you need to work on, what we'll work on together, is learning to trust yourself and to trust your partner."

Alexa licked her lips, nodding her head. Her knees were pressed together and her shoulders were hunched forward, like she was minimizing herself. Like she was scared. Of him.

He almost took that as a compliment. He didn't want to let something like that go to his head. She wasn't one of his usual conquests. She was only here to learn, not to gain an experience—although he did want her to have the time of her life with him.

"And that means," Eric said. "Trusting me. What you need to understand—” he took his fingers and tilted her chin up so she was looking at him in the eyes. He was surprised by how captivating they were and he cleared his throat, having forgotten what he was going to tell her temporarily—"I mean, what you need to understand is if you want to have a relationship with the butterflies and the lust and the connection and everything else, you need to let go of feeling right. Because, really, you choose how you feel."

"I loved Tim," Alexa said as Eric released her chin.

"Did you?" he questioned. "Maybe you thought you did, but you probably didn't. Because why not express that love physically?"

Her silence spoke volumes.