Page 68 of Torn
“I loved her, too,” he says simply. “And I have something for you.” He reaches into his worn leather jacket and my mouth falls open as he pulls out Mopsy, my old, raggedy stuffed bunny that he gave me for my fifth birthday. I thought I had lost her and threw quite a tantrum, which led to him taking me to adopt Snuggles.
I slowly take the plush toy from him, confused as to how he has it after all these years. The ear is ripped, just like it was long ago, so I know this is definitely the same toy and not a similar one he found at a garage sale someplace.
“It’s my Mopsy… I thought she was gone. I totally forgot about her.”
“I know.” He nods and a faint smile crosses his lips. “A few days after you lost it, I found her in the bushes by the front door of your house. It must have fallen out of your little backpack.” His smile turns into a disappointed frown. “I feel like shit that I didn’t give it to you, Kenzi. I just wanted something of yours, I think. It’s been in my closet all this time. I know I’m an asshole—”
“No.” I stop him, my voice wavering. “You’re not. I totally understand.” I reach out and hesitantly touch his cheek, making him look at me. “I wanted your things, too. I always wanted some part of you to hold on to.”
“I guess I felt that about you, too.”
My heart hammers as we stare at each other, his dark gaze drifting from my eyes, to my lips, then back to my eyes again, debating. Struggling. I hold my breath, waiting for him to kiss me again, feeling that intense undeniable pull, but instead, he grabs my hand from his cheek, quickly brushes his lips across my knuckles, and rests my hand on the bed, pulling his away.
“Kenzi… I can’t.” His stormy eyes close and he shakes his head.
I nod and hug my stuffed toy against me, biting my lip to keep my tears at bay. He scoots closer to me on the bed, his leg pressing against mine through the thin quilt that’s covering me, and I want him closer. I want to know what it would feel like to mold my body up against his and fall asleep in his arms. I’m envious of childhood me, who used to climb on his lap and nap with my head nestled between his shoulder and his neck.
“If it’s okay with you, I’m going to take Snuggles back to your house tonight, and I’m going to bury her next to your water fountain. When you get back home, we can plant some flowers and get a special stone for her, okay?”
“You’d do that?” This incredibly sexy man, who must have better things to do, is going to drive almost six hours round trip to bury my pet bunny for me. Just when I thought I couldn’t possibly love him more, the space in my heart that is only for him doubles in size. I blink at him, teetering between bursting into tears again and wanting to kiss him madly. Is this my pseudo-uncle taking care of me, or is this a man who has feelings for me doing things that would make him the most awesome boyfriend in the world?
“That’s why I came here so fast. I thought you’d want her home.”
I’m unable to bring myself to look at him. I’m afraid if I do, I’m going to kiss him, whether he wants me to or not, because he’s got my heart in a major chokehold right now. “I’d like that a lot,” I manage to say.
“Listen, Angel. I know how much you love visiting Katherine. Don’t let this ruin your stay, okay? I don’t want you to attach bad memories here. You gave that rabbit an amazing life; she lived way longer than most rabbits do, and I think this was where she wanted to go—sleeping in your room close to you, with a beautiful view. Hell, if I had the choice, I’d go the same way someday.”
I finally look up at him, and I can’t hold back what I’m feeling any longer. “Do you have any idea how much I love you?”
His broad chest rises and falls slowly, and I now recognize this as him trying to gain control of himself. Trying to prevent another collision. As he absently touches the plush toy lying between us, he answers in a soft, somewhat melancholy tone.
“I hope as much as I love you.”
Yes, I do.
He slowly stands, and I feel like he’s taking pieces of my heart with him. Pieces I need to be whole. I have no doubt we’ve always loved each other, but now I’m not sure what kind of love this is. I used to think love was love and there was no gray area, but I’m learning it’s just not that simple after all. Love is like an onion, with a lot of layers and a lot of tears before you get to the good part.
“I want you to go in the other room while I take care of her. Then I have to head out so I can get home before dark. Your dad’s waiting for me. Apparently he wants to supervise and say some words.”
I can’t help but smile through sadness, because that is so much like my father to want to do a eulogy for a bunny.
“Okay… can you wait out in the hallway for a few minutes while I get dressed?” All I have on is the thin T-shirt and boy shorts I slept in last night and even though he’s seen me barely dressed a hundred times, it suddenly feels too intimate.
I catch him glance down my body hidden beneath the blanket before he looks away, pulling my beanie down a little lower over his forehead. “Yeah… I’ll come back in a few minutes.”
Just as he reaches my door, I call out to him. “Hey, Tor?”
He stops and turns around with a questioning look on his face.
“When I get home, I’m giving this back to you. I want you to have it.” I hold up Mopsy, and he grins and nods before he closes my bedroom door behind him.
I wait on the back porch as Tor prepares my bunny and puts her and her cage in his truck, and when he comes back to the house to say goodbye to Katherine and me, I walk back outside with him so we can be alone before he makes the drive back home.
“I can’t even tell you how much this means to me, Tor.”
“I already know. Just remember what I said—enjoy your summer.”
“I will.”