Page 67 of Torn

But then again, I think of you every day.

The only difference was today

I could think of you without pain.

Without crumbling.

Today, I thought of you, and I smiled.

And it was all worth it.

I’d do it again.

Every tear, every sleepless night, every day of missing you.

I would do it all again, just to have you.

I miss you. I want you. I love you.

I wish for you.

KENZI

I love waking up at the Inn because the cool breeze blows through the bedroom windows, and I can see and hear the water if I sit up in bed. Watching the sun set and rise every day is a beautiful bonus.

My moment of tranquility on the tenth day of my visit quickly fades as my eyes lower from the view out my window to Snuggles in her cage. Usually she sits atop her little wooden house and stares out the window or sleeps peacefully up there, enjoying the fresh air, her little bunny nose twitching.

But today, she’s lying on her side in the cage, up against her pile of hay. Throwing my quilt off, I race over to her cage and pull the little door open, reaching inside to stroke her.

“Snuggles?”

My tiny best friend is unmoving. Not breathing. Her little nose incredibly still.

She’s gone.

“No, no, no…,” I whisper, gently stroking her ears. “Please wake up.”

Years and months of pent-up anguish roll over me as I lean my forehead against the metal cage. The heartache that came from losing my mother, then my little cousin, the teasing at school, and the confusion with Tor rips through me as I stroke my bunny’s tiny lifeless body.

I want it all to stop. I want off this ride.

I didn’t realize I was screaming and going into hysterics until Aunt Katherine came rushing into the room and had to pull me away from the cage while Tina covered it with a sheet and they both sat with me on my bed, trying to calm me down. Katherine made me chamomile tea and rocked me like a baby while I cried over my little rabbit that lived so much longer than most do but still wasn’t long enough. I feel safe having my aunt comfort me like my mother used to, so I let her, instead of fighting it like I normally would. If I close my eyes and listen to her voice, it’s almost like mom is here with me again, telling me everything is going to be okay, and she loves me with all the love in the world.

I cry until I have no more tears left, and then Katherine puts me on the phone with my father, who cries with me and offers to come be with me, but I tell him no. There’s no sense in disrupting his schedule and making him drive all the way out here, so Iassure him I feel much better after having a good cry and I’m in good hands here at the Inn.

After Katherine leaves to prepare the midday snack for her guests, I fall asleep, exhausted from crying. I dream that Toren came to me, the faint scent of his earthy cologne enveloping me in its familiarity as he gently brushes my hair from my face and presses his lips to my cheek.

“I’m so sorry, Angelcake,” he whispers.

“Tor?” He’s here, sitting on the edge of my bed. Blinking, I expect him to vanish back into my dream, but he’s still here, big and incredibly masculine in this tiny room with its canopy bed and flowered curtains.

“You’re really here?” I push myself up to lean against the headboard, eyeing him, still expecting him to disappear.

If smiles could heal broken hearts, his definitely holds that magic. “Of course I’m here. Your father called me after he talked to you.”

I throw my arms around his neck and hug him tight. I love this man without end. No matter what, I know that will never, ever change. Heismy heart.

His muscular arms circle me and he holds me until I slowly and very reluctantly pull away from the haven of his chest. “I’m so glad you came,” I say, reaching for a tissue from the box on my nightstand. I don’t want to cry anymore, but new bittersweet tears are already welling up behind my eyes.