Page 65 of Papers Don't Lie
Kai drops back on his chair, spilling some of the liquid on his skin, the same way a rock falls. It’s robotic, not caring if he hits himself or if he drops the glass. The only thing he cares about is going back to drinking himself to death.
He hiccups, shaking his head at me. “If I didn’t forget he exists, not enough," Kai murmurs, taking another sip.
For fuck’s sake. What has gotten into him?
“What are you talking about?” I question, my brows furrowing in worry.
His eyes find me, amusement swimming in them in a mix with complete agony. “Carter. Who else? Cielle is in Costa Rica, safe, I made sure of that, but you? Raven?” He laughs sarcastically. “I don’t know when I’ll go to sleep without worrying about your safety.”
Cielle? He looked out for her?
I never mentioned anything about Cielle because I never thought her safety would be in danger, but he took it ahead of me and made sure she’s protected if anything goes wrong.
My insides melt.
He clears his throat, takes another sip, and throws his hands on the desk, leaning closer to me. “Do you know I wake up every two minutes? I can’t think, I can’t work, I can’t sleep without thinking about how to keep you safe, and it’s like everything I’m doing is in vain.” His voice rises a bit, and I flinch in surprise, not expecting the sudden change from his calm tone.
I open my mouth, not knowing what to say. It’s not like it's been easy for me either. I don’t even have the courage to leave home alone anymore, and whenever I’m alone, I pray for Kai to come back quickly so someone won't break in and do God knows what to me.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
Kai immediately shakes his head, trying to get up, but his hand slips on the desk and he falls on his chair. He tries again and rounds the desk, then comes to sit right next to me. His hand cups my cheeks, and he leans down to kiss my forehead.
“No, my beautiful wife. It’s not your fault,” he murmurs, the scent of whiskey washing all over me. His nose brushes mine, and his lips glue on mine for one second before he breaks away. “It’s not your fault I care about you so much.”
THIRTY-SIX
ESMERAY
My mouth parts open even though I have no intention of saying anything. What would I say anyway at his drunk confession about the immense amount of care he carries for me? I’m not saying it’s not the truth, but he definitely didn’t mean to tell me that, and the proof is that he never did it until now—when he’s drunk in his office instead of sleeping in our bed.
Kai messes with his hair again, hiccupping before he suddenly raises a finger in the air, a genuine smile on his lips. “I have something for you.” He nods his head before rounding his desk again to open a drawer and take out a small box. He hands it to me, and I hesitantly take it.
“Don’t you want to go to sleep, Kai? Let’s go to bed.” I implore him with words, my eyes begging too.
He shakes his head. “Not a good idea. Now, open it, and I’ll rethink my decision after.”
With a sigh, I unfold the small box, only for my eyes to stumble over a beautiful bow, with a royal purple color and small, clear diamonds over it. My fingers trace the material, and my mouth opens, not believing what I’m holding. This is surely handmade because I know every store that sells bows, and none of them have this. It’s stunning, and it’s my favorite color as well.
I look up at him, and even though he’s intoxicated with whiskey, his eyes are more honest than they have ever been. His lips raise into a smile that reaches his ears, little wrinkles gathering around the corner of his eyes.
“Well? Do you like it?” He lifts his hand in the air, pure joy on his face. “I thought you could wear it at our wedding.”
Do I like it? It might be my favorite thing in the world after Purple. It’s so delicate, elegant, and luxurious at the same time, and it’s so me… Perfectly crafted to my tastes.
I like that he chose something for me to wear while I helped his designers with his suit.
How can he make me melt and piss me off at the same time? This is the most thoughtful gesture, only proving how badly he wants me to be myself and feel better with things I like, but then he does something like get drunk and spends the night in his office while I try to not freak out at the loss of his presence. Which one matters the most? How should I act after all he did tonight?
“If you come with me upstairs, I’ll wear it,” I say, finding a way to get out of this situation.
He pouts like I just ruined all the fun and huffs before walking—more like trying to walk—to the door to open it for me. Kai stretches a hand towards the exit. “After you.”
Getting him to our room is a bit of a struggle. He keeps fidgeting in my arms, murmuring something about a man being carried by a woman, stepping too low on the staircase and slipping, and laughing a bit too hard until I need to intervene and cover his mouth with my palm. By the time I open the door to our room, I’m sweating and pretty sure that after he takes a shower, I’ll need one too.
I take him to the bathroom, but when I want to close the door to get him so close, he stops me with his voice. “Can’t you washme?” He pushes his bottom lip in front, intertwining his hands in a prayer.
A sigh falls past my lips. “Take your clothes off, but keep your boxers on. I’ll be right back,” I tell him and leave for our closet, Purple following me.