Page 23 of Finding Answers For Confused Succubi
"Do they teach you all this at cupid school or something?"I take a sip of my tea.
"I hate to break it to you, but there is no cupid school.And if there was, I'm pretty sure they'd only teach us about matchmaking techniques.I know this because I've had the same questions as you."
Surprise fills me and I look straight at him."You have?"
"Well, without the whole magic feeding issue.But the lack-of-interest in sex bit, yeah, I've been there."
It takes a moment for the meaning of what he's saying to sink in, but if I'm understanding right, he knows exactly how I feel."When did you notice?"I ask hesitantly.
"Fifteen or so.I thought I was just late at getting interested in those things, but I'll be twenty in three months, I think the ship might have sailed on that front."
"Oh."I look down at my cup, trying to think of what to say.
"I started looking into it and discovered a lot of information about asexuality, and eventually decided that it fit who I am.Maybe I'll change my mind in the future when I learn more about it, but that's what it is."
I nod along, trying to soak in all the information I can while trying to work out if it fits me."So what's the sex averse, sex positive stuff?"
Darius takes another sip of his mocha."To most people, it's a scale.Some people aren't interested in sex at all, some people don't want anything to do with it, and some people are still ace, but would have sex in some circumstances."
"Like what?"
"I guess any reason they wanted.Some people do it because it still feels good, others because they're in a relationship with someone who wants it," he says.
"That all seems unnecessarily complicated."
Darius shrugs."People are complicated."
"And I'm extra complicated."
"I don't think so."He reaches out and places a hand over mine.It's a surprisingly comforting gesture, and one I don't expect from him.But I kind of like it.
Actually, not kind of.I like it a lot.
"Which are you?"I ask, only realising once the question is out in the open that I shouldn't be asking it."Sorry, you don't have to answer that."
"It's okay, you can ask.You're sharing this with me, it's only fair that I share with you."
"That still doesn't mean you have to," I point out."Only if you want to."I stretch out my legs and think about how easy it actually is to talk to him about this.I thought it would be much more awkward.
"It's nice to talk to someone who understands," he admits."Not everyone does."
"Which is why I haven't really talked about it to anyone.Well, I mentioned it to my best friend the other day, but I've never told anyone before that."
He nods."I consider myself sex positive ace," he responds."I'm perfectly content not having sex, but when I was with my ex, we did because she wanted it."
I nod."I think that makes sense.My ex ended things over sex."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be.You didn't do it to me.It's not really his fault either, I guess.”
"No, but that doesn't mean it hurts any less," he responds.
I bite my bottom lip and consider all the other things I want to ask."I'm not saying that I am asexual or anything, but if I am, what does that mean for me?"Worry fills me even as I think about the situation."I'm a succubus."
"Do you..."he trails off, seeming to not want to ask the question on his mind.
"I've had sex," I answer the question I know he's trying to ask.