Page 45 of Vicious Impulses (The Capo and Ballerina)
I nod, again with a sadness I can’t shut out. “It wasn’t enough for Nero. He wanted more. No one escapes his iron fist. He wanted to take me, put me directly in the flesh trade. I was seven.”
Caelian’s nostrils flare. His grip on his wine glass tightens almost to the point of shattering it.
But he says nothing, fuming in silence as he waits for me to go on.
“That was my father’s worst nightmare. It’s no secret what happens to people that go straight into the trade. He pleaded with him to make an exception for me.”
“I am guessing I know what that is.”
“I was to train with the Dresden Dance Company from childhood ’til adulthood, and then, when I was twenty-one, I would be available for purchase. But only by a suitor willing to make it final.”
“Marry you.”
“It was a better deal than most girls get. Even the other ballerinas are expected to, um, entertain the dance company’s clientele. The only difference from the rest of the flesh trade being that the clientele is rich and prestigious. I was separate from that. Still up for sale.... but only by a suitor who could truly afford me and what came with it.”
He unclenches his hand from around the wine glass. “Which is where I came in.”
“Yes... except you violated my contract.”
"I had to have you," he admits simply, unapologetically. "What was it like, training at the dance company since you were such a young girl?”
“Difficult.... especially at first. I missed my mom and dad. The rest of my family. But then I fell in love with dancing. The rest was history.”
He grunts, then polishes off the last of his wine. “The training would be very intense, I imagine.”
“Nervous breakdowns weren’t uncommon. Ignazio and the rest of the dance instructors expect the very best.”
“But you rose among them. You came out on top. Ignazio chose you to be the lead for his latest show.”
I bite the bottom of my lip to keep from showing my shy smile. “Some say he chose me out of favoritism. Ignazio always tries to appease Nero and the Vorones. I was the one dancer in the company that was allowed a special contract.”
“Your father is dead,” he says bluntly. At the startled look on my face, he elaborates. “What I mean is, Nero has no incentive to continue your special treatment, Nevi. Ignazio would not treat you better than others to please Nero. There is no reason for it. You were made lead because of your talent and grace.”
“Thanks,” I answer. “I love performing for the company, but I’ve never felt like I belonged… if that makes sense.”
The gray storm that is Caelian’s gaze only grows stormier. “It makes perfect sense.”
“I was the only Black ballerina. It’s always made me stand out.”
“Enough to be in my dreams.”
“You’re serious when you say that? You’ve really dreamt of me?”
“Yes,bella ballerina. In my dreams, you danced for me. You…” he trails off.
My brows draw close. “I what?”
“You made the pain go away.”
We sit with our gazes locked onto one another as his confession sinks in.
I’m not sure how to react. Though I’ve suspected Caelian suffers from some type of ailment, I haven’t a clue what it could be. My mind travels back to our wedding night and how he’d seized up in pain and rushed out of the room. He’d been gone for days afterward.
I frown at him, leaning closer in my seat. “What’s causing your pain, Caelian?”
His large, rough hands scoop mine up. He peers at every feature of mine like he’s mesmerized by my sheer beauty. Being on the receiving end of such intent study only makes me ripple with more nerves.
My skin runs hot and the deep-rooted longing I hadn’t even known I have feels like it’s being unearthed—the same kind of longing from the morning Caelian showed me my future dance studio.