Page 55 of The Inn on Bluebell Lane
“Ellie.” Gwen put a gentle, restraining hand on hers as she smiled. “Enough with the apologies and backtracking. They’re not needed, I promise, and we’ve tripped over ourselves too much as it is, trying to get along when I think it was easier than either of us ever realized.”
“You… think so?” Ellie asked uncertainly.
“It feels that way to me. Maybe having cancer is making me more honest, but I’m sorry that we haven’t got on better over the years. I know we haven’t not got on, but I feel as if there’s always been this tension between us, unspoken but felt.” Gwen scanned her face. “Am I wrong?”
“No,” Ellie admitted in little more than a whisper. She felt both guilty and gratified that her mother-in-law was talking like this. They were finally addressing the elephant in the room, the one they’d skirted around for ages, but she wished she’d had the courage to talk about it more honestly before now. “I don’t think you’re wrong, Gwen.”
“I think I was taken aback when Matthew started dating you,” Gwen admitted. “Because I didn’t want him to stay in America. I don’t think I blamed you—at least I didn’t mean to blame you—but I think I carried some resentment all the same. I’m sorry for that.”
“You don’t need to be sorry, Gwen,” Ellie said. She felt tears thickening in her throat and she had to blink rapidly to keep them back.
“I think I do. I should have been more welcoming. More accommodating. Not just now, when you’ve all moved here, but before. A long time ago.”
“I should have been more understanding,” Ellie replied. “And more accepting. I let myself get annoyed, and I felt resentful, as well. I’m sorry, too.”
“Good.” With her non-IV hand, Gwen reached over and squeezed Ellie’s hand. “I’m glad we’ve got that sorted at last. I don’t know why we didn’t before, except maybe we couldn’t. These last few weeks have changed me, and I think maybe they’ve changed you, as well.”
Ellie nodded slowly. It was true; she felt changed. She didn’t think they could have had this conversation before now, even if she wished they could have.
“Now,” Gwen said a bit more briskly, “about your idea for the B&B. The truth is, I love it. It’s exactly what I want for any bed and breakfast I run—and David would have wanted it, too. I think we were going for that, in our own, smaller way, before, but I love your ideas about game nights and children helping in the garden—it would be wonderful!” Her face lit up for a moment before she paused, a slight crease appearing between her brows again. “But what does Matthew think? Really? Because it’s not at all what he’d been planning, is it?”
“No,” Ellie agreed, trying to rally with a smile. “It’s not. And I’m not sure what he thinks, to be honest, but he was willing for me to pitch it to you, at any rate, so that’s a good sign, I guess.”
“Ah,” Gwen said, and there was a wealth of understanding in her voice. Ellie’s smile wobbled. “Be patient, Ellie. This is hard for him. He’s always been proud.” She let out a little sigh. “Just like Sarah. I don’t know where they get it from.” She gave her the ghost of smile. “Must have been from David.”
Ellie let out a little laugh. “Yes,” she agreed, smiling. “It must have been.”
“I’m proud of you,” Gwen told her, “for thinking of it in the first place. Matthew will get on board in time, I’m sure of it, but in the meantime, be proud of your own idea. I’m certainly grateful for it.”
“Thank you,” Ellie replied, startled and gratified by Gwen’s words. She hadn’t even considered being proud of her own idea, but as Gwen had spoken, she’d realized she was—and it was a nice—as well as needed—feeling.
CHAPTER 29
GWEN
Gwen was still feeling tired as she and Ellie headed back to Bluebell Inn, once the chemotherapy had finished. It had been nice to have a chat, and she was so very glad they were finally making real progress with their relationship. She couldn’t think why she hadn’t truly grasped the nettle before, but maybe, as she’d said to Ellie, she hadn’t been able to. One of the unexpected blessings of having cancer, she supposed. You stopped avoiding uncomfortable heart-to-hearts.
She was also heartened by Ellie’s ideas for the bed and breakfast—a far cry from Matthew’s talk of en suite bathrooms and gyms, and a huge relief, exactly the kind of idea she could really get behind.
As Ellie turned into Bluebell Lane, Gwen’s heart sank a little, for Sarah’s battered Rover was already parked by the house. She hadn’t told Gwen she was coming over, and she hoped her daughter hadn’t been offended by her decision to go with Ellie. She didn’t think she could handle a hurt-filled confrontation right now.
“Sarah?” she said as she came into the kitchen. Her daughter, she saw, had been busy—there was a foil-covered casserole resting on top of the Aga, the sink had been scrubbed, and the kettle was boiled.
“I’m making tea,” Sarah announced in a brisk, brittle voice. “I thought you could do with a cuppa after your chemo.”
Actually, Gwen’s stomach was churning from the treatment, but she gave her daughter a warm smile all the same. “That sounds lovely, Sarah. Thank you.” She glanced at Ellie, who was standing in the doorway, looking uncertain. “Ellie? Would you like one?”
“Actually, I have a few things to do before I pick up Ava and Josh,” Ellie replied, backing out into the hall. “But thank you. Nice to see you, Sarah.” She gave her sister-in-law a quick smile and wave before disappearing upstairs.
Gwen didn’t really blame her. She knew how formidable Sarah could seem, could be. She was a little intimidated herself by the way she was whirling around the kitchen, moving from Aga to sink and back again with dizzying speed. With a sigh, Gwen lowered herself into a chair at the table as Sarah continued to around the kitchen.
“You seem tired,” Sarah remarked, and Gwen let out a little laugh.
“I’m sure I do. That is a side effect of the treatment.”
“I mean more tired than usual.” Sarah almost sounded accusing, although of what, or whom, Gwen didn’t know.
“I believe the effect is cumulative,” she answered after a moment. “That’s what the consultant told me, anyway, so it will get worse before it gets better.”