Page 48 of The Inn on Bluebell Lane

“But you’ll still be the same on the inside,” Jess told her loyally, and Gwen smiled.

“Yes… I certainly hope so.” She wasn’t entirely sure she would be, but she appreciated her granddaughter’s words. “But we weren’t talking about me, we were talking about you. And Chloe. Why do you feel she’s forgotten you?”

Jess heaved a big sigh. “I don’t even care that much about Chloe. I mean, I do, I really do, but I understand why she’d get a new best friend. It’s not like I’m there. She has to hang out with someone at school and stuff. I do get that, even if I wish she’d answer my messages once in a while. It’s just… here… I feel so… lonely.” The smile she gave Gwen was heart-breaking, and it wobbled.

“Oh, Jess, I’m sorry.” Gwen paused to pat her granddaughter’s hand. “Is there anyone at school you can be friends with?” she asked. “I imagine it must be hard being new. Are there any possibilities, though? Any kindred spirits?”

Jess nodded, although she still looked dispirited. “Yeah, there’s one girl… Sophie… she’s really nice, and I like her, and I think we could be really good friends eventually, but… she’s not Chloe, and she doesn’t really know me yet. Or, really, she knows me as the biggest loser in the whole school, and I guess I don’t like that.” Jess kicked at the bedframe with her foot. “That isn’t the real me. At least, it wasn’t, not before I moved here, and everyone decided I was.”

“Well, I for one don’t think you’re the biggest loser in the school,” Gwen told her. “Not by a mile! But being new is, for now, part of who you are, and that’s all right.” She hesitated, feeling her way through the words, the ideas. “We’re all complicated people—there are different parts to us, some bits we like and some we don’t so much. Some we can change, or will change with time, like being new. And as time goes on, maybe Sophie will get to know the other parts of you, and being new won’t be a bit that matters so much.”

“Maybe,” Jess said, but she didn’t sound convinced, or particularly enthused by the whole idea, and Gwen couldn’t blame her. She was only thirteen, after all. Waiting for anything felt endless, especially when the possibility of change was so vague.

“Small comfort now, I know,” Gwen said with a commiserating smile. “The waiting is hard. It always is. I certainly find it so.”

Jess ducked her head. “I’m sorry I shoved Josh.”

“And I’m sorry he spilled sauce on your top.”

“I know he didn’t mean to.”

Gwen decided this was a good moment to head back downstairs; she could hear some sounds—clatters and thuds—all of which could potentially be alarming. “Why don’t you change and bring down your top? I’ll give it a soak and we’ll see if we can get that stain out. I think we might be able to.”

“Okay.” Jess gave her a shy smile. “Thanks, Granny.”

“It’s no trouble.” Gwen contented herself with another pat of Jess’s hand before she headed downstairs. That had been, she reflected, the first proper conversation she’d had with her granddaughter, and she was very glad for it.

CHAPTER 25

ELLIE

“They’ll be fine, you know.”

Matthew gave Ellie a smiling look as she drove along Llandrigg’s high street to the inn on the far side of the village. He had scrubbed up nicely, broken arm and all, and she hoped she had, as well. It had been ages since they’d been out alone together, ages since they’d had a chance to talk properly, besides that conversation the other day, which had felt both painful and potentially fraught, and had caused them to be cautious with one another since, even strangely shy. Still, Ellie told herself, it had been progress, and she hoped more progress might be made tonight.

“I’m more worried about your mother than the kids,” she told him as she turned onto a narrow country lane on the outskirts of Llandrigg. “She’s so tired from the chemo, and you know how they can be a handful. Ava had already turned on the waterworks before we were out the door…”

“And she can turn them off again, just as quickly. Besides, my mum is made of strong stuff, stronger than you think. She’ll be okay. I think she’d like some time alone with her grandchildren.”

“I suppose so.”

Gwen had said as much, and Ellie believed her, but she was still worried. After their surprising and touching heart-to-heart, she was trying not to take her mother-in-law for granted, or read the wrong motives into her actions or words. Gwen might say she could watch all four children for an entire evening, because she was worried about Matthew and Ellie’s relationship, but did she mean it? Could she do it—and how much would it cost her? The last thing Ellie wanted was for Gwen’s health to be set back.

“Let’s just concentrate on having a nice time,” Matthew suggested. “If something goes truly pear-shaped, Mum will call. She has both our numbers. I can’t remember the last time we’ve been out.”

“It must have been back in Connecticut, before…” Ellie trailed off, not wanting to mention his redundancy. They’d talked about that enough, surely.

“Yeah, when we had more money.” He sighed and looked out the window, at the row of quaint, terraced cottages sliding by.

Ellie bit her lip, caught between guilt at mentioning it, and a slight annoyance at her husband’s reaction. Were they already falling back into those tired patterns of sniping at each other for no good reason? She hoped not. She’d really wanted to make an effort tonight to get back on track.

“It was very nice of your mother to make us this reservation and pay for the meal,” Ellie remarked with determined diplomacy. “You’re right. We should do our best to enjoy it. I’m glad we can have some time together.” She turned to smile at him, and to her relief, he smiled back.

They’d been in Llandrigg for nearly a month now, but it still felt like early days on so many fronts. Ellie knew she had to be patient—in making friends, in her children settling in, in her and Matthew finding their way, but she wanted to see evidence of gains. Tonight, she hoped, would give her that kind of proof. And, she acknowledged fairly, there had been some gains already; Jess had, for the most part, seemed a bit less sullen, and Ben was enjoying the Minecraft and football clubs. Josh had made a friend, and Ava seemed happy in her school. And Ellie had made a good friend in Emma, as well, plus she felt she was getting along better with Gwen. As for her and Matthew…

Well, that’s what this evening was all about.

The inn was lovely, tucked at the end of a narrow country lane, its cobbled courtyard wreathed with fairy lights. Inside, it was all aged oak and open fires, with a delicious smell of food, wine, and woodsmoke scenting the air. Ellie felt her cares falling right away, properly glad now that they’d come out, that Gwen had made it happen. She would have to thank her when they returned.