Page 39 of Her Demon Daddy
22
ASMODEUS
Iclose my eyes and touch my tongue to the side of my teeth. I just bared my soul to her, and that’s not even the question she asked. Not only that, but everyone in their cells heard it too. As my heart rate drops, I wonder what came over me to spill my childhood into the dungeons. I release the air from my lungs and look at her, feeling embarrassment shooting through my chest.
She rolls her eyes and scoffs. “Why would you lie tome?”She places her hand on her chest. “Me,of all people? What? Was it that you didn’t trust me? Was I just some stupid pawn for your plan? Because I fucking believed everything you told me, Asmodeus. I never questioned you once. In my eyes, you were the real King, the man who ruled over a whole planet! I believed in your morals, your rulings, and I even believed you were beginning to…” She jerks her head back slightly, and her mouth closes gradually as her eyes reflect heartbreak.
You were right. Ithink as I hold her gaze.I was beginning to love you.I think, shit, I hope that’s what she was about to say. I want to get on my knees and beg her for forgiveness. I want to tell her everything I’ve thought of her since I met her, that she’s extraordinary, gorgeous, witty, the funniest woman I’ve ever known.
Unfortunately, I feel all that would be for not because I can’t get the image of Vag’thimon whispering in her ear out of my head. As the images progress, I see him removing her dress and throwing her on the bed. I see his hands on her breasts and her hands clawing at his back as she moans his name.
I discard the thoughts and return to reality, staring at her. I thought I made my point clear as to why it’s difficult for me to trust others, but that’s not enough for her. My walls shoot up again, and I feel myself go cold emotionally and physically. She’s let Vag’thimon take her for his own. Why should I feel a need to express myself anymore to her?
“You know, Siara,” I sigh and look at her with my head cocked. “I enjoyed our time together. Truly, I did. There were times I debated opening up to you, telling you this whole shitshow of a story…” I look at her gravely and cross my arms. “But now that I know you’re untrustworthy,” I scoff. “I guess it’s a good thing I didn’t. It’s a relief, actually, that you found out this way.”
As I speak my final words, I instantly regret saying them. She doesn’t deserve to be spoken to like that. She doesn’t deserve anything I’ve done to her, and the soft part of me wants to scoop her up in my arms and hold her tightly as I apologize profusely. I can’t take that risk if she has become Vag’thimon’s. I would never recover from feeling so foolish.
“I’m untrustworthy?” she shouts, disbelief and rage crossing her face. “You lied to me, Asmodeus. Did you forget that? Did you choose to ignore how you manipulated me into thinking you were aKing?That Galmoleth wasyourplanet? Let’s not forget when you told me you were scarred from bringing ‘your’ people to Galmoleth, but they were cut on you in the war!”
“They’re one in the same!” I snap at her, not understanding why there’s a difference between the two. I also probably want to excuse my own actions through any means necessary.
“But I still don’t know the full story,” she pleads, almost begging me for an extrapolation. “How can I believe anything you say now? I mean…” She runs her fingers through her hair and closes her eyes as she exhales patiently. “You’re not King,” she states in a calmer tone. “You’re not who I thought you were. I thought you had immense power, but now I know there’s no way you could open that portal on your own, so how did you do it?” She opens her eyes and crosses her arms again as she calms down.
“What’s the point?” I shout as I throw my arms out to the sides and laugh. “You won’t believe anything I say, anyway!”
“I didn’t!” I scream. “Oltyx did!”
Again, she takes a deep breath and looks at me intensely. I still can’t read her expression, but I know this isn’t something I can avoid. I need to tell her everything, or I’ll never forgive myself.
“And who is that?”
I breathe out through my nose as I bite my bottom lip and shake my head. “He’s the demon God of earth,” I say lowly. “The one my family has always worshiped. He’s been important to me ever since I was a child, told to be trusted and honored.”
I look at the amulet on my chest and twirl it in my fingers, seeing the tree branches engraved on it shine in the dim lights of the dungeon. I sigh and look at Siara. “When the xaphan attacked me, I saw my men dying. Theliel was racing toward me. I knew I didn’t stand a chance. I was as good as dead.”
I pause and purse my lips as I inhale, trying to collect the bravery, to be honest with her. “I called out to him at that moment, something that was foolish. We know better than to call on Gods for assistance. it’s not something demons do. I just…”
I throw my hands up before dropping them by my hips, the smacking sound echoing in my cell. “I panicked. It’s a dishonorable act to admit defeat and have to call upon something greater than you. I never thought he would do anything to actually save me, it was…a foxhole prayer more than anything, but it turned into something much greater. It turned into Galmoleth.”
I look at the floor of my cell, and the memories return of that day in the clearing. I hear the horses whinnying and feel mine rear up on its hind legs as the ambush begins. My men scream, and swords clash as they defend themselves against the xaphan. I remember thinking we would be alright until I saw over a hundred xaphan in the field, demolishing my battalion and slicing my warrior's necks.
The blood stains the grass, and the sounds of the xaphan racing past me deafen my ears. It’s a mixture of battle cries and representations of two worlds, all trying to defend their beliefs through bloodshed and power-seeking.
Once again, I was powerless. I wanted nothing more than to lead my warriors to the distress signal, and I had failed again. every moment of powerlessness played in my mind like a montage when Theliel glided toward me. Hearing my mother scream at me from the kitchen because I broke a figurine, failing a test by one point in school, watching Vag’thimon’s coronation, everything piled on top of me, and I didn’t trust that I had the strength to continue.
I remember gripping the amulet and thinking it was a terrible idea. What cemented me calling out to Oltyx was the thought of my men dead on the field and me somehow having to live with the knowledge that I failed them. I called out his name, and the rest, Siara, already knows.
I look at her as she remains silent, staring at me like she’s studying a rare animal. I still can’t read her expression. I want her eyes to scream empathy, her lips to open with forgiveness, and her arms to uncross and embrace me. I want her to melt with my truth and remember who I was before she discovered who I am.
She looks to her left and signals for the trolvors to open the dungeon doors.No, please don’t leave me,I think as I watch her take another look at me.Can’t you see that I’m bearing my soul to you? Can’t you tell that I haven’t done this with anyone before? I didn’t mean what I said about you being untrustworthy. I’m only terrified you’ll never forgive me. Please, Siara, don’t leave.
I try to cram my message into my stare, hoping she catches the hint. To my disappointment, she begins walking away toward the door. I run to the bars on my cell and grab onto them as I watch her stop halfway down the hall, the two trolvors opening the doors to the castle. I hang my head, knowing I’ve done everything possible to convince her I’m not an evil, manipulating bastard.
I look back up, hoping she will say something, turn around, and run to me, anything to lift this weight of loss from my shoulders. I’m defeated and disgraced. if she walks through those doors, I know I’ve lost everything.
“You know, Asmodeus,” she begins quietly, her head slightly turning and her eyes looking over her shoulder at the floor. “I was beginning to fall in love with you, you know. Not with the crown or the powerful hooded Demon King, but with you.”
She walks forward slowly through the doors. I open my mouth, my heart breaking into a million shards. They race through my chest and spear my skin like they’ve exploded. I look at the floor, and all my emotions intensify. Loneliness, fear, regret, and shame are all I have left. Without her, I have nothing of use anymore, nothing to wake up for to motivate me to fight. I look at the ceiling and close my eyes, silently praying that I’m executed tomorrow.