Page 22 of Triplets for the Dark Elf
Hesitantly, I pick it up and look inside. A smoked piece of dripir wrapped in doughy bread. It’s one of my favorite treats and something I feel like I desperately need right now.
“Thank you.” My eyes raise to meet his violet ones. “Can I get you anything?”
He holds up a hand. “No, I just wanted to see how you were doing.”
“Since I didn’t come home,” I add, and he gives a half shrug.
“You’re an adult. It’s not my business where you are at night.”
I snort. “Oh, come on, Father. You know that you were concerned about what I got up to.”
He blows out a breath, and his expression shifts. I can tell now that his mild interest was veiling something else as the sadness peaks through. “Honestly, I’m concerned about you everyday. Last night was no different. But this is nothing like when you were barely more than a kid. I can’t fix everything for you, especially when you won’t tell me what is going on.”
It’s true, I’ve pushed my father away. And that isn’t like me. To the rest of the world, I may be stoic and distanced, but with my father, he’s always seen through my walls. I know this secret I’ve held is causing a rift between us.
“I’m handling it,” I finally say, and this time he snorts.
“Based on your appearance yesterday, I wouldn’t say so.”
“Father–”
His gaze cuts through me. “Did you know that your niece and nephew kept asking where you were? They missed you and you couldn’t be there for them. It killed your brother to lie to them, to tell them that you were tired and didn’t feel good. But that’s not the truth, is it, son? You were too drunk to be with us, and that is your version of handling it?”
Well, that is tough to swallow. And I know that my father is not trying to berate me. I once before fell into a similar drunken state, and he was there at my side. He helped me through the pain and taught me the ways of the shop to distract me.
He helped me heal, and somehow I am back in the same situation.
Only this time, I don’t know with certainty if Annalise is gone. I stood over Inilie’s grave, crying for the only woman I loved, but this time… I don’t know if I should let go.
“Miothro, please. I don’t want to see you like this. Let me help you.”
I scrub at my jaw, weighing my options. My heart slams in my chest, and I’m not sure what more to do. “I know what I did was wrong. I’ve just been…struggling with something. But it doesn’t affect the shop, so you don't have to worry.”
He shakes his head. “I don’t care about the shop. I can buy more paper, sell more ink. I care about myson. I need to know that you are okay. I thought after the talk we had on the twins’ first birthday, things would be resolved. And for a few weeks, they seemed to be.”
What I don’t tell him is they were. I left the first birthday happy and eager to tell Annalise my feelings for her. And for a few weeks, it was perfect.
And then she disappeared, and she took a part of me with her.
“But then you changed. And I know I’ve said it before, but I’ve only seen you like this once before.”
I nod. “I know.”
“Is it that?”
I swear it feels like the air is being sucked out of my lungs as he sits there, waiting for me to admit it, and with his eyes on me, I finally break. “Yeah.” My voice cracks and he leans forward, eyebrows pinched together. “Yeah, it’s something like that.”
“Miothro…” He reaches out, clasping my forearm. “Son, why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I wasn’t ready to face it, not again. I’m still not.”
Slowly, my father nods. He sinks back, watching me, and then he sighs softly. “I can understand that.” He rises, his eyes still on me, and I feel so much like a broken, scared kid that I don’t move. “Just know that I am here when you are ready.”
“Thank you.”
His eyes soften. “I am always here for you, my son.”
“I know.”