Page 21 of Triplets for the Dark Elf

Or ones that are so disgusted by dark elf-human relations that they would target my children. I couldn’t do that to them.

So even though it hurts, I think at least for right now, I have to accept that the best thing for them is for their father to be a story, a myth. To think that he’s some distant hero who came to their mama when she wanted them rather than the alternative.

Yes, that’s what’s best for everyone right now.

I sigh and climb into bed, laying my head on the pillow as tears roll down my cheeks.

12

MIOTHRO

Ibarely remember getting home last night. Well, actually, I didn’t make it all the way there. I’m on the couch in my office above the shop.

But, if I could have somehow forgotten how much I drank, the second I creak open my eyes, I’m immediately reminded. My head pounds, and the light through the window seems to slice straight through my skull.

My mouth is dry and my whole body aches as I roll off the couch. A bottle that I must have dropped goes flying as I hit it by mistake. I try to ignore it as it clatters – though it does nothing for my headache – and go to the bar.

My eyes immediately linger over the bottles of zhisk and wine I have there, but I shake it off. I need water, lots of it, and a clear head.

Annalise plagued my dreams. The entire time I was chasing her and she was calling out my name, pleading for me, but I never could catch her. I woke up out of breath and frantic.

As I guzzle water, my body feels like it is starting to come back to life. I don’t think I realized just how far I let myself go yesterday, but that drunken illusion of the woman I want more than anything has definitely made me realize I was at my breaking point.

But I know that it couldn’t have been real. She’s all I’ve been thinking about, and when my mind was too far gone to distinguish reality from my memories, I saw her. That has to be all it is.

I settle behind my desk, scanning the reports in front of me. The shop’s books look good, and considering how much I was trying to avoid thinking about the twins’ birthdays yesterday, I poured myself into work all week. There’s nothing that needs my attention now.

So, I let my curiosity get the better of me. I pull out the ledger of imports and exports listed by every shop and estate three years ago. Labor is one of those numbers reported, and I scan each one for the month she went missing.

When I see nothing, as I have never before, I do the same for the subsequent months. I knew the numbers were no different, but I needed to quiet that voice in my head.

I know that if she were kidnapped – as I have concluded – that no one would report her. While humans aren’t treated particularly fairly on Protheka, King Grymlok does require all employed humans to be properly documented in Vhoig.

That doesn’t mean that whoever has her is going to follow the laws. But it is the one shot in the dark I have, and I regularly revisit it.

Sinking back in my chair, I lift the bottle of water to my lips. I’m still viciously parched, and I know I should probably eat something, too. But already, my mind is too consumed by Annalise to think about going out to find food.

That’s why it always drives me to drinking. If I don’t have my work weighing on me, she will rule my mind. Time has not diminished that, nor how my heart aches for her, but this time, I won’t drown her out.

Maybe it was a drunken mistake, but I keep revisiting the vision of her I saw last night. I am not wholly convinced she wasn’t there. And I know I won’t be able to stop thinking about her or last night until I figure that out.

But what am I to do? Stalk through lowtowns and scare all the humans until someone’s master comes and hauls me away for messing with girls that aren’t mine? There’s no guarantee she is there, and even if she is, my presence will put everyone on alert.

Whatever reason made her disappear might get worse, and I can’t have that.

Thankfully, before I decide to go do something stupid, there is a knock on my door. And then it swings open, and I know who is going to be on the other side.

“Miothro,” my father says as the door clicks shut behind him. “Good to see you up.”

I give him a grin and tip back the last of my water. He was staying at my house for the twins’ birthday instead of his estate to the north. It’s easier for him to spend the night in the city when visiting.

I hadn’t even considered that he would notice my absence, though. I have no doubt he knows what I got up to when I left Imris’s house.

“How are you feeling?” He assesses me with a gaze only parents wear. He’s cautiously worried, but clearly doesn’t want to set me off.

“Like shit.” He chuckles softly as I cock a brow and reach for another water. I’ll need to take the glass bottles to be refilled. “But I’m sure you expected that.”

“I did.” He places a paper bag between us. “I brought you something.”