Page 111 of Losers, Part I
I rolled my eyes in exasperation. “No, you won’t. You’re not going to call the cops on them just for showing up on a public street. That’s ludicrous.”
“Excuse me? What did you say to me?”
Abruptly, I got up from the couch. This argument was never going to end if I didn’t get out of here. “You’re not going to call the police, and you’re not going to dictate who I spend time with. I’m done with this.”
“Well, I’m notdone, Jessica. Don’t walk away from me!”
But she couldn’t stop me. I grabbed my phone, slamming the front door and putting a blessed stop to her arguing. God, some days I couldn’t stand her. It tore me apart, because for so long,I’d doneeverythingwith her. I’d hung on to her every word. I’d thought she was so beautiful and fierce. A strong, capable person.
Then I realized it wasn’t strength I was seeing; it was the ability to make others feel weak so she could control them. She could put someone down over weeks and months, chipping away at them until they bent to her will.
But not me. Not anymore. I was so done with this place. I could see the New York City skyline whenever I closed my eyes, waiting for me to get there.
Except…there were some things here I wasn’t done with. Not even a little bit.
Putting in my earbuds, I tucked my phone into the tight pocket on my armband. While it sucked not to have a car, my favorite cafe didn’t take very long to jog to. I hadn’t been able to finish my breakfast since Mom wouldn’t quit nagging me, and avoiding her meant I didn’t even go downstairs for lunch.
My stomach was growling with hunger as I ran through the neighborhood park. The trails here were nice, with large trees providing some shade. But the sky was filled with thick gray clouds today, although the heat was no less intense. The air felt so thick that I was drenched in sweat within a few minutes.
If only Mom knew the truth, if only she’d accept it without completely losing her temper. I had no friends left to speak of, but it was largely by my own choice. No one that I’d grown up knowing was still close to me. Not a single person I’d once called a friend was trustworthy.
No one except…
I slowed my jog as I neared the cafe, smiling as I pulled out my phone. Ashley Garcia had been my friend longer than anyone else I knew. We’d met in fourth grade and been inseparable ever since — at least until she landed her dream job and moved to New York without me. We had always been a lot alike, andalthough she was a gossip queen, she’d never made me feel like I risked our friendship by doing my own thing.
I gave her a call, and it was so good to hear her voice that I almost choked up. She was living her best single life, partying on the weekends and grinding hard at work during the week. She’d gotten a job as an advertising consultant and loved it nearly as much as she loved trying a new cocktail bar every night.
“Anything new in Wickeston?” she said, after relaying all her weekend shenanigans. “Let me guess, it’s still boring, boring, boring.”
“Pretty much.” I laughed. The cafe was packed that morning, and I was keeping an eye out for an open seat as I waited for my food. “It’s exactly the same. Backstabbing bitches and assholes everywhere. I can’t wait to get out of here.”
Maybe she heard the little hint of a lie in my voice, because she said slyly, “Yeah, can’t come soon enough. Nothing much to look forward to in Wickeston, except…well, you know.”
I sighed. “What do I know, Ash?”
“You know,” she insisted. “Your favorite boy toys are still there, aren’t they?” When I said nothing, she explained, “Manson Reed? Vincent? Their weirdo friends?”
“Oh my God, girl, no.” The denial came instantly, but the moment I’d said it, a pang of regret tightened in my chest. What was I so afraid of? It was Ashley I was talking to. She wouldn’t judge me! Or at least if she did, she wouldn’t make me feel bad about it. But I kept seeing Danielle in my mind’s eye, smiling at me as she said with fake sweetness,“It’s our little secret, babe.”
I didn’t think Ashley would betray me like that. I hated to even think about it.
She clearly wasn’t buying my denial. “Riiight, sure.”
I sipped my coffee, as if the caffeine would somehow help me relax. “What made you think that anyway?”
“First off, because you actually sound really happy. The lasttime I remember you being so upbeat was after a certain Halloween party a few years ago.” She giggled. “Also, you weresonot subtle about how hard you stalked them in college. I swear, every time I looked at your phone, you had one of their socials pulled up. But, okay. I believe you. You definitely haven’t seen them, right?”
“Right,” I said quickly, but her long silence afterward broke me. “Okay, fine, I saw them at a party.”
Her shriek almost burst my eardrums. I had to hold the phone away from my ear, earning some weird looks from the people seated around me as the high-pitched scream emanated from my speakers.
“Oh my God, I knew it, I knew it!” she exclaimed. “You have to tell me everything — Ah. Shit. Never mind. My boss is calling me. Call me later?”
“Sure thing, girl. Love you.”
“Love you, bitch, byyyye.”
My order was up and I still hadn’t found an open seat. I wandered out onto the patio, which was shaded by trees and surrounded by vine-covered trellises. I was scanning the tables when a bright red head of hair caught my eye.