Page 39 of #PhiThetaForever

"We're all going to be together, and everything is going to be fine. Honestly, y'all worry too much." Declan plops on the bed behind me and wraps his arms around my stomach and kisses my temple.

"What he said," Jackson says as he flops down next to Candice and slings his arm over her shoulder. "We've got over a month to do whatever we want. I think that's exactly what we all need."

"Amen," Declan says holding his arm out and fist bumping Jackson.

Candice and I fall into another fit of laughter. This is going to be good for us. We made it through our first semester and now we can relax and regroup, get ourselves ready to take on the second leg of Freshman year. I'm praying it goes smoother than this semester.

Then again, I can't imagine it getting worse.

41 Declan

Apparently, my parents don't understand the meaning of relaxing evening. We came home to cooking and Christmas music, joined by Lena's grandparents, Jackson and Candice, and way too much energy from the adults. My girlfriend has been helping my mother and her grandmother with pies for the last forty-five minutes and she might be smiling but the bags under her eyes tell me an entirely different story. Everyone is standing around the kitchen island, chatting while the ladies work, and while I'm glad to be home, I'd really like to just curl up in bed with Lena and sleep. I'm exhausted.

"Alright, I know this is very un-parent of me, but I think you all doing so well in school deserves a toast," my father says as he pulls a large bottle of wine out of the fridge.

The adults clap in agreement, but the rest of us freeze. I stare at the bottle in my dad's hands and then glance at Lena. She's staring at me with a look of concern and slight horror on her face. This is about to ruin our homecoming hardcore. "Dad, not for us. Well, not for me, at least."

My dad looks taken aback as he sets some wine glasses on the counter. "Oh, come on, son. I know you're not one for breaking the rules, but one toast with your super proud parents won't hurt anyone." He smiles and my gut tightens.

I haven't been around alcohol since I walked out of the Sigma Nu cabin, and I'm surprised at the sudden desire to drink. The support group warned me that being around drugs or alcohol might make me crave it, but I didn't think it would be a big deal. It's a big deal.

"Dad," I say loudly, on the verge of yelling. "I can't."

All the adults quiet and a hand slides onto my shoulder. I glance back to find Jackson standing there, a look for pride and brotherly love on his face. "Mr. Aiden, Declan isn't trying to be rude. None of us are. But this semester didn't go as smoothly as you think. A lot happened, and we all had more to deal with then just school work. So, we hope you understand when we say that no one in this group is going to be drinking, not even to celebrate."

"What is going on," my mother says in a stern voice making me wince. I didn't talk to them too much through the semester and when I did, I never brought up what was going on with Sigma Nu. They knew I was pledging, but that was it.

Lena wipes her hands off on a towel and walks around to stand in front of me. I stare down at my feet, one hand gripping the edge of the counter, the other shoved in my pocket. I really don't want to tell my family, or Lena's family, about how bad I messed up this year. The last thing I want to do is disappoint all of them. Lena, cups either side of my face and makes me look her in the eyes. "Hey. Don't do that. You have nothing to be ashamed of."

I scoff. "Yeah, okay. Nothing at all." I try to pull my head out of her grip and look away, but she tightens her hold and forces me to keep my eyes on her.

"Declan Harp, I've never been more proud to love and be loved by someone as I am with you. So knock it off. We agreed no more secrets and no more lies, and that includes with our families."

Sighing, I grab her by the waist and pull her body against mine. "Have I told you how much I love you today?"

Her smile sparks a warmth in my chest. "Yes, but I don't mind if you tell me again."

After gently kissing her lips, I kiss her forehead. "I'm sorry about everything, and I love you, more than you'll ever know."

"Good. Now, tell your family what happened." She moves to my side and wraps her arms around my waist, snuggling her head against my chest as Jackson squeezes my shoulder.

"I dropped my pledge with Sigma Nu because part of pledging included a lot of drinking and drugs. I did some really terrible things drunk and high out of my mind this semester and it almost cost me my best friends and my girlfriend."

"Declan," my mother says taking a few steps around the island toward us, her face red, teeth ground together.

"Mrs. Carrigan, before you get angry," Lena says, standing up straight but keeping her arms around me, "Declan left Sigma Nu and joined a support group at the church near campus. He knows he messed up, and he's fixing it. But staying clean and sober is part of that."

Tears pool in my mother's eyes as she walks over to me. Lena and Jackson both let me go and take a step back. I'm almost expecting my mom to slap me, but instead she grabs the front of my shirt, jerking me forward into a tight hug. "You should have called us when things got bad. Your father and I would have done everything to help you, the same way we always did for Darcy."

I wrap my arms around her and bury my face in her shoulder. "I didn't want to disappoint you."

My mom sniffles and leans back so I can see her face. "You and your sister have never disappointed me. You're my children and I love you. Sometimes, you both screw up. But that is life. That's why you have parents who will do whatever it takes to help you through whatever you go through. Always."

I nod and swallow the lump in my throat as my dad and Lena's grandparents come over to hug me. I know this isn't the end of this conversation, but it feels better that they know and no one started screaming and yelling. As my dad quietly puts the wine away and the chatter picks back up, Darcy comes over and hugs my side.

"I'm proud of you," she says quietly so only I can hear her. "Justus will be proud of you too."

"Thanks." I give her a one armed squeeze before she goes back over to stand with Jackson and Candice, Mr. Gary and my dad joining them.