Page 33 of #PhiThetaForever

"I'll never lie to you again, Lena. I swear."

"That night, at the cabin. Did you sleep with her?" I look down at my hands because if he says that he did, I don't want to be staring into his eyes when he does.

The weight on the bed shifts closer to me and my breath catches in my throat. "No, Lena. I did not sleep with her. I went to bed and passed out alone, and I woke up alone."

The air rushes out of me in relief and I close my eyes, silently thanking God. "Okay."

"Baby, look at me." He takes my coffee from my hands and sets it on the shelf of my headboard. His eyes are almost bluer than I remember, and I wonder just for a moment, if Declan and I will ever have a life that isn't filled with some kind of drama. Since we met, it's been one thing after the other. The shooting aftermath and then his accident, and overcoming both. Now this. I'd give just about anything for a year of easy going. "I have messed up a lot of things between us. But you're the only woman I want to know intimately. I wish I could sit here and blame being high, but it was my choice to get high in the first place. But I swear to you, I will never hurt you or break a promise that I've made to you again. And what you saw that night, is the worst that anything has ever happened. It has never gone further than that."

Biting my bottom lip, I prepare myself for answers I may not be ready to hear. "Was she the only one? Or were there others?"

Declan looks up at the ceiling, as if he's praying quickly, and then back at me. "Do you remember when we had that away game and I called you in the middle of the night, just to hear your voice?" I nod, unable to find the words to even acknowledge the memory. "A bunch of the cheerleaders were partying in Bo's room with everyone that night. One of them was dancing in my lap."

"Was that before or after you called me to tell me how much you loved me?" I can't keep the hurt or the venom out of my voice. From the corner of my eye, I notice everyone in the ding area has stopped and is watching us. Part of me wishes I'd waited to ask, but his shenanigans were done publiclly, so I don't totally feel bad for others having to hear his explanations.

"Before. And that's why I called. I knew I shouldn't have let her dance anywhere near me, and the thought of doing something that would hurt you made me feel like the world was ending. Of course, that was at the begninning of all this and clearly I have screwed up far worse than that since then."

"Why? Why was Sigma Nu so damn important, Declan?"

He sighs. "I had this vision of us in my head, Lena. The opportunities from Sigma Nu, the possibility of going Pro, and the life I could give you . . . give our kids, our family bu having those connects. We'd have money and wealth in other ways, and I could give you the world. I thought I could make all that come true with Sigma Nu under my belt, and if I could just get past the pledging thing, we'd have this amazing life neither of us every planned or dreamed of to look forward to."

It's an awkward moment, realizing he's made these completely stupid decision because in his mind, he thought is was the way to give me an affluent life where he could spoil me.

I huff and smack the palm of my hand into his shoulder harder than I intend to. His eyes go wide and someone else cusses in a hushed tone. "Did you even stop to think about what I want in a future with you? Have I ever said that I wanted money? Or luxury? Or any of that shit! I've never given a damn about your money Declan. Loving you had nothing to do with your football talent or your family's position. It was—"

His lips crash into mine and for a second I think about pushing him off me so I can continue yelling. Until the salty tears from his face mix on my lips. His hands encase either side of my face, and he kisses me several times before leaning back just enough that I can see his face. "I fucked up, Lena. And I'm sorry will never be enough. And I will spend the rest of my life making this up to you."

My anger calms and I hold his face in my hands and wipe the moisture from under his eyes. "I just want you, Declan. If you decided you wanted to flip burgers as a career, I would still love you just as much. You're what I need, what I want. Everything else is just things."

"I know. I love you so much."

I lean forward and kiss him softly, knowing that we have a long way to go to heal, but that I want to put in the effort. "I love you too."

35 Declan

I really thought it was going to take forever for Lena to even be remotely nice to me, so I'm not going to complain that the last 24 hours has been the best days of the semester thus far. After us talking this morning, and her ripping me a new rear end, she seems more relaxed. Like she got the weight off her shoulders. Sitting at the coffee shop on campus before math, while she tells me about the day she had in her first class while sipping her favorite coffee, is the highlight of my day.

"Crap," Lena says before sucking in a breath and yanking her hand out of her bag, with a small blood smudge on the tip of her index finger. "I am pretty sure I broke the mirror Darcy put in my bag."

She goes to pick up a paper towel, but I reach out and pull her hand across the table, picking up a napkin and wrapping the end of her finger in it. When I pull the towel away, Lena goes to pull her hand back, but I don't let her. Instead, I wink and then very gently kiss the tip of her finger, enjoying the red that colors her cheeks instantly.

"You should see what he can do with his tongue," a sharp female voice says a second before long nails run across the back of my neck.

I jerk to the side and use my free hand to swat hers away. The blonde stops next to our table and by the look on Lena's face, she recognizes her—the body shot girl from the cabin. "Don't you have somewhere else to be? And don't touch me. That's a mistake I won't be making twice." I lower mine and Lena's hands to the table, and she interlocks her fingers with mine and squeezes, her face devoid of any emotion.

"Bo said you were super whipped by this one," she says looking at Lena. "Though, after seeing her in person, I can see why you haven't fucked her brains out."

Lena stands and moves so she's toe-to-toe with the cheerleader, but she keeps her hand in mine. "This coming from the girl who could only get his attention while he was coked out of his mind. Have any of the frat guys ever made a move on you sober? I didn't think so. What's it say about you that not only will they not touch you without narcotics and alcohol to encourage them, but that you have the reputation of being the Sigma Nu free party hole?"

The blonde's brows come together and she looks from Lena to me, and back to Lena.

Lena laughs but it's kinda evil and bothers me. "Oh, I asked around about you, Ashley. Funny thing that my boyfriend took a shot off you, snorted coke off you, but didn't give a damn about you enough to even find out your name. But I found out your name. I wanted to know exactly what kind of girl got my boyfriend to forget his morals. Then I learned that drugs make everyone lose their morals, and that Bo literally uses you to welcome the new pledges to Sigma Nu."

"So? Maybe that's how I like it," Ashley says, but her voice breaks and the building tears in her eyes are evident.

"Right. Well, the next time you decide to come over here and try to make me jealous or piss me off, remember something. It says a lot about you that anything with an erection will get high and stick it in you. It says even more that even coked out and drunk, my boyfriend wouldn't have sex with you. And lastly, it must speak volumes in your head knowing that this girl," she points to herself, "is the only girl Declan wants that way. So have fun being Bo's whore, and stay the hell away from us."

I stand, and lightly tug on Lena's arm, pulling her toward the cafe exit. I have no idea what just happened. Lena has never, ever spoken to someone like that before. I've never seen her be even close to that mean. Not even to Darcy, when my sister deserved it. We exit the shop and walk a few paces until we come to the alcove near the stairs that lead into the math building. I yank Lean into a small hidden corner and she stares at the ground.