Page 48 of #Lovestrong

Lena

It's the first time I've brought Declan to Dr. Neely’s with me. He doesn't know it, but she and I talked about him coming, and she thinks it’ll really help, so I agreed. My grandparents don't have anything to do tonight, but it's the only excuse I could think of to get him to come. I thought it’d be too weird just to ask him to come to therapy with me.

"Hey, Lena," Dr. Neely says, coming into the waiting room.

I let go of Declan's hand and stand to shake hers, my nerves a little higher than last time.

"You must be Declan," she says, turning to shake his hand as well. "Why don't you guys come back and we can chat for a little while."

I glance at Declan and his eyes are wide as he stares at her. Reaching over, I squeeze his hand. "You don't have to. You can wait out here if this is too weird."

He turns to me and his eyes soften as he tucks my hair behind my ear. "Do you want me to come? Honestly?"

I nod and bite my bottom lip, trying to calm my nerves. I should've given him the heads up.

"Then I'll come." He takes my hand and looks up to smile nicely at my therapist.

She grins too and turns to lead us back to her office. Once inside, I let go of Declan's hand and take my seat in the hanging chair. It's become my favorite seat, and even though he's here, something about this chair makes me more comfortable.

He doesn't say anything, or even seem nervous at all. He just sits in the high-backed chair right next to me, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. Dr. Neely takes her normal place across from us in her chair.

"First, let me say I'm really glad Lena brought you, Declan. I think having you here and having you as an active part in her therapy is going to be really beneficial for her."

He reaches over and takes my hand in his, and I squeeze it, not bothering to hide how nervous I am. "Of course. I'm glad she wants me here."

Why is he so wonderful? Like, how do other girls have horror stories of dating boys who are mean or try to force them into sex, and I end up with this amazing human being as my boyfriend?

"Well, Lena was worried if you found out about her past, the truth of it, you might view her differently."

Declan slowly turns his eyes on me, slightly narrowing them, and I swallow, trying to force down the tightness in my throat. "About the shooting? You thought, what, that I wouldn't want to be with you because of that?"

"Wait," Dr. Neely says, surprised. "You told him?"

I huff and roll my eyes. "Not really. His sister found an article about it online and kinda told everyone in the middle of dinner with his parents."

"My sister's a bitch," Declan says, shrugging his shoulders before looking back at me. "You seriously thought that?"

My chest tightens and I can't look at his face. Staring down at the floor, my eyes welling up with tears, I nod. It was my biggest fear. I know now how stupid it was. He's been more loving, if that's even possible, since finding out about everything. Pulling my hand out of his, I tilt my head up toward the ceiling and wipe the tears that escaped my eyes, cursing under my breath.

Declan shifts sideways in his seat to almost completely face me and cups the side of my face. I lean into his hand, the warmth from it helping to push down all the emotions bubbling under the surface of my skin. His face is so serious with his forehead crinkled a little as he stares at me through narrowed eyes.

"Lena, nothing could make me feel any different about you. Good, bad, or otherwise. I love you."

Oh my God. My breath catches in my throat, and the next thing I know, he's on his knees in front of me, cradling the back of my head as I sob into his shirt, my hands gripping the material like my life depends on it.

"I love you too," I say in a whisper between sobs, and the moment the words leave my lips, he sighs and pulls me tighter against him.

I don't know how long it takes me to stop crying, but when he finally gets up and sits back in his seat, Dr. Neely hands both of us a handful of tissues, and my heart stutters in realizing he's crying too.

I've never had anyone make me feel the way Declan does, and I don't care that we're young, I knew I loved him long before saying those words out loud. Now, it feels like a revelation, like somehow just uttering those words to each other opened whatever gate was still between us.

When I finally regain my composure, I look at Dr. Neely and she's smiling, just glancing between me and Declan. She straightens in her chair and sits her pen and notepad down.

"Okay, Lena, so let’s talk about where this puts you two, and discuss what support you really need to get from where you are as a person, coping with the aftermath of the shooting, to where you want to be in the near future."

Declan reaches over and takes my hand again, bringing my fingers to his lips and gently kissing them. I take a deep breath and with a steady exhale, try to figure out where I go from here.

"So, Declan and I are going to go to a press conference his dad is doing this month."