Page 47 of #Lovestrong

Declan

Jackson and I sneak onto the bleachers at the soccer field as Lena and Candice, with the rest of their team, go hard during a scrimmage match for their first practice. We finished up the first meeting of the Varsity football team and then came right over. Usually, we shower before heading out, but today, we didn't want to miss this. So we're still in our practice gear, duffel bags at our feet, watching our girls run their asses off.

Lena's even better than I thought. She's fast and her footwork with a ball is amazing. She has sweat running down her face, which is beat red, and her hair is bouncing in a ponytail as she moves the ball behind her, spinning to turn and kick it right into the corner of the goal, past the waiting goalie.

Damn, she’s gorgeous.

Her teammates erupt in cheers and run over to hug and pat her on the back as their coach blows the whistle. As they set up for the next play, Candice hugs her and leans in close to her ear. Lena's head whips around and her eyes find mine. I'm smiling so wide it makes my face muscles hurt. She grins at me and waves before turning back around, jogging to her place on the field.

Jackson and I get a little too into the practice match, cheering Lena and Candice on, and several times they both roll their eyes in our direction, shaking their heads. When the coach blows the whistle for the final time, they grab their water bottles and bags and jog over to us, meeting us as the bottom of the bleachers.

Candice jumps in the air, Jackson catching her as she wraps her legs around his waist and kisses him. I can't help but chuckle. Lena stops in front of me, swallowing a mouthful of water.

"Hey," she says, still out of breath.

I lean down and kiss her, grabbing her practice jersey to pull her body against mine. She kind of squeaks in surprise as she fists my mesh shirt in her hands and kisses me hard back.

"Hi, baby," I say as I stand up straight, already wishing I could kiss her again. "Do you want to hang out tonight?"

"Actually, I was kind of wondering if you could do me a favor?"

I stand up straighter, a little alarmed at her tone. "Sure, baby. What's up?"

"My grandparents have stuff to do tonight, so I, uh, kinda need a ride to my therapy appointment. Would you take me?"

It's hard to keep the smile off my face. It means a lot that she's willing to let me in, even the slightest, on this part of her life. I know it's hard for her. "Of course. I've got a change of clothes in my car. Can I just shower at your house?"

"Yeah. I need one too."

For a split second, the idea of showering with her runs through my mind and I have to bite my lip from saying something I shouldn't. Every fiber of my being wants to lay this girl down and make love to her, but I promised myself a long time ago sex wasn't something I’d do until I knew one hundred percent the person I was doing it with was the girl I'd spend the rest of my life with.

Lena's that girl, but I know she isn't ready for our relationship to be a physical one. Not like that. And it's perfectly okay with me. I'll wait for however long it takes, whether that means five years or until she marries me, which even at seventeen, I already know I want.

I want her, every minute, of every day, for the rest of my life.

But I also know we're young, and we have a lot to get through before marriage and stuff is even a factor. Like college. No matter how much I love her, I'm not putting anything before Lena's education or my own. We both have worked too hard to throw that away.

And as much as I know she cares about me, there's still that small doubt in the back of my mind of whether or not she loves me the way I love her. I've tried a few times to find the right way to tell her I love her, but I chicken out every time. Part of me doesn't want to scare her off, and the other part is afraid she doesn't feel the same way. And I can't . . . I won't lose this girl.

She slides her hand into mine and laces our fingers together as we walk to the car, chatting happily with Candice and Jackson. I don't say much. All I can do it stare at Lena's face, in awe of how beautiful she is. Not just physically, but down to her core.

God gave her the most beautiful soul, and the more she lets that shine through, the harder and deeper I fall in love with her.