Page 39 of #Lovestrong

Lena

Grandma's ringtone startles me awake and I roll over to find my phone hooked to a charger on the coffee table. It takes me a minute to remember I'm on an oversized sectional in Declan's basement. I haven't had enough sleep, that's for sure.

"Yeah, I'm here, hello?" I say, mumbling half the words as I bring the phone to my ear.

"Lena, honey, are you okay? It's Grandma." Her voice is anxious. I should've called her last night. I know Mrs. Carrigan did, but I should have too.

"Grandma, hi. I'm fine. I'm sorry for not calling last night. Mrs. Carrigan—"

"Called and told us what happened, and it's fine. We just wanted to give you some space but make sure you were okay, honey."

I roll onto my back and pull the blanket up over my chest. It's cold as hell in this basement. "Yeah. I'm okay."

"Lena, do you need anything? Should we call the therapist? Maybe she can see you an extra day this week. Something."

"No, no. I'm seeing her in a few days. I promise. Can I hang out with my friends today? Do you and Grandpa need my help?"

"No honey, we're fine. Slow day anyway. You relax and we'll see you tonight, okay?"

"Yes, ma'am. Thank you." I smile as I rub my eyes. My grandparents might be the greatest people on the planet, literally. Best. Ever.

"We love you, Lena."

"Love you guys, too."

I hit the end button and set the phone back on the table, rolling onto my side and closing my eyes again. I don't know if everyone else is still sleeping, but I really want to go back to bed.

"You okay, baby?"

I jump at Declan's voice and then chuckle as he snakes his arm around my waist, snuggling up behind me. Putting my arm over his, he holds me tightly against him and kisses my shoulder.

"Is it weird that I feel better this morning?"

"What do you mean?" He loosens his arm and the couch shifts as he props up on his elbow so I can roll over and look at him.

"You know the truth now. I don't have to pretend I'm okay when I'm not, and I don't have to spend energy I honestly don't have trying to hide it from everyone."

"Why didn't you tell me before? No offense, but now the cutting and loud noises and shit, it makes sense."

"You cut yourself, Lena? No. You're not allowed to do that anymore," Candice says loudly in a panic as she pops up off the other couch and comes to sit next to me. Given the way we're laying, she sits half on me and half on the edge of the couch.

"Sheesh, Candice. Breathe. We thought you all were still sleeping," Declan says, shaking his head.

"Nah, I'm an early riser. Was just waiting for you deadasses to get up. Seriously, Lena. You can’t do that shit anymore. I mean it."

I reach out and take her hand in mine. "Relax. I don't really want to anymore, and I'm in therapy to try to get better with everything. Okay?"

"Okay," she says as she stares at me a moment, her eyes looking over every inch of my face. She kind of launches forward and hugs me, loses her balance, and rolls off the couch, taking me with her. We both topple onto the floor, tangled together in the small space between the couch and coffee table.

We go into a fit of giggles, trying to get up off the floor, accidentally hitting and pinching each other, and the boys just sit on opposite couches loudly cracking up at what must look like two otters wearing skates on a freshly waxed floor.

Finally, we just give up and lay on the floor, tangled together, trying to catch our breath from laughing so hard. It's the most normal I've felt since the shooting. Just for today, I'm going to force myself not to feel bad about laughing or living.

Even if it's only for today.