Page 19 of #Lovestrong
Lena
Starting the school year off with the rumor that I’m dating the hottest guy in school wasn’t my plan at all. It's better than hiding in the bathroom crying all day though. I can't explain why Declan makes this easier. He just does. If I'd met him a year ago, there's no doubt I would've dated him. He's amazing. Everything a girl could ever dream of.
Even though he brings out the old me at times, that girl isn't really here anymore. This can never be anything but what it is right now— a beautiful illusion. If he knew the truth, knew what I'd caused, he'd walk away and never look back. Maybe it's selfish, but I don't think I could stand it if that happened. Declan makes me feel almost normal.
As we walk into the building, my body tenses up and he squeezes my hand. After he says goodbye to his friends, followed by a few high-fives and fist bumps, he steers me into the front office. A plump woman behind a high counter smiles at him and walks to the front.
"Declan Harp. Look at you. So grown," she says affectionately.
"How was your summer, Mrs. Castille? You and Lilah-May do anything fun?"
"Oh, remind me to show you the pictures! We went on a camping trip with her Girl Scout troop. She was the only one who started a campfire without matches. So proud of herself."
"That's amazing! You bring her to a game this year so I can get a good luck hug from my best scout," he says, leaning up against the counter.
"You bet I will. What can I do for ya this morning?"
"Well, this is Lena Harrison. She's new to Lakeview, so she needs her schedule. Mrs. Deb said she had to pick it up this morning."
"Okay, let me find it," she says, turning to give me a warm smile. A moment later, she comes back holding a folder in her hands. "Magdalena Harrison. Here we are."
She hands me a paper from the folder and begins to read the one under it. Declan pulls on my hand a little and I look up at him.
"Magdalena?"
"Shut up. My mother is Middle Eastern and she liked old-world names. Don't judge me."
He chuckles and pulls me closer, planting a kiss on the top of my head.
"Lena, let me take you around to introduce you to Mrs. Hoplins before you head to class. You can just hang out here, Declan. We'll be right back."
My heart pounds in my chest and I tighten my fingers around Declan's.
He pulls me close, so we're standing with our bodies barely touching, and let's go of my hand, reaching up to rest his on the side of my neck. "I'll be right here."
"Okay," I whisper, running my hands back and forth on his forearm before turning back to the secretary.
Once she and I turn around the corner, she gives me a sad smile which already tells me what she read in that folder.
Damn it.
She knocks on the wall next to an open door and then steps inside. "Mrs. Hoplins, this is Lena Harrison."
A woman in her mid-to-late thirties looks up, pulling a pair of reading glasses off her face. She has black hair pulled into a high bun on top of her head and is wearing a fitted, simple black, mid-calf length dress.
"Oh, thank you, Susan." She stands up and comes over to shake my hand before directing me to one of the chairs in front of her desk. After shutting the office door, she returns to her seat. "How are you, Lena?"
"I'm fine. Sorry, why am I here?"
"Oh God, my apologies. I'm the guidance counselor here at Lakeview, and just wanted to chat with you before you head to class and let you know if you need anything, my door is always open."
For the first time, instead of getting upset, anger pops up out of nowhere and my face hardens. "Look, I know what's in my file. I don't need to talk, I don't need you asking me questions, and what happened is no one's business." I grab my book bag and stand, not bothering to wait for her to tell me I can go.
"Lena," she says as I'm halfway to the door. "It's okay to be angry over what you went through."
"Have you ever been in a school shooting?" I say, turning to glare at her.
She visibly swallows. "No, but—"
"Then don't presume to tell me what it is and isn't okay to feel. Have a great day, counselor."
The pulsing in my ears is so loud, it muffles the voices in the office as I speed walk back to the front area. As soon as my eyes fall on Declan, everything clears and I take a full breath.
I already want today to be over so we can go home.