Page 58 of The Barbarian King's Assassin (Magic and Kings 1)
But the other odd thing? I actually did want to be with Konstantin. So why did I react so poorly? I’d never been one to deny myself pleasure, and yet I seemed determined with Konstantin. He was different. Something made me hesitate to indulge in intimacy.
“You could have just said no,” he wheezed.
“I wanted to make sure you remembered my choice the next time you thought of trying to handle me roughly.”
“I wouldn’t have forced you.”
“No, you wouldn’t have.”
“Why are you so afraid to kiss me?”
“I’m not afraid.”
“I think you’re lying.”
“You’re just trying to trick me. It won’t work. Go to bed, Barbarian. And maybe I won’t slit your throat while you sleep.” With that parting shot, I fled to the floor above, but not because I feared him. Even though I hurt him, he never got mad at me. It was as if he took some kind of personal pride and pleasure in my actions.
I fled because I wanted to kiss him. And the more I gave myself excuses why I shouldn’t, the more I wanted to.
He said not one word as I bolted up the spiral steps to the open space. I should have brought a blanket. Although the evening air proved pleasant, it would get chillier as the night deepened.
I lay on the floor, looking out the open window, spending a good amount of time watching the night sky and the moving stars. A few times, I imagined I saw shapes crossing over them. Perhaps they were birds that hunted at night.
For some reason I thought of the divots in the openings and his claim they used to hold weapons to fight dragons. Could it be they’d once existed?
No. He was just telling me stories as if I were a gullible child who might believe.
I fell asleep and woke suddenly, chilled, but not as chilled as expected given the blanket draped over me. That man…he was sneaky. He’d also left me alone after tucking me in.
Was that why I’d woken? I listened. Nothing untoward prickled my senses, but realizing how deeply I’d slept, I should check on the king. I crept down the spiral steps and approached the bed.
Konstantin slept on his back, an arm under his head, the other over the blanket. Plenty of room for a little assassin slash bodyguard to get comfortable.
I tossed my blanket onto the floor then followed it. I went back to sleep, only to wake alone in the bed. Obviously placed there and only one person could have done it and not woken me. He really needed a bell like that cat that used to live behind the bakery and stole the baker’s fish pies until she managed to get warning.
It bothered me that even in my sleep I trusted Konstantin. I must since I’d given up one job to take another that kept me close to him. Literally glued to his side.
He arrived as I finished dressing in trousers and a shirt. No more dresses unless I had to.
As he entered, I offered him a sour complaint. “You shouldn’t have left without me.”
“You were still sleeping.”
“Wake me then.”
“And risk you hitting me?”
“Can’t handle a little tap from tiny me?” I batted my lashes.
He grinned. “Tiny, but mighty. Mightier if you stopped holding back.”
“Count yourself lucky I’ve been nice. Where have you been?” He wore his boots and a cloak.
“Morning run to check in with a patrol.”
“Outside the castle?” I practically yelled.
“Yes.”