Page 59 of Kiss the Girl
“He has.”
“I always felt like that just fed into his need to constantly be on the move. He felt stifled in Magnolia Sound and wanted to go out and experience the country.” She paused. “I guess I just always thought he’d hit a point where he was satisfied and wanted to come home.”
That broke Savannah’s heart.
She didn’t say come back, she said come home.
Dammit, Cash…
For several minutes, neither spoke. But once again, it was Grace who spoke first.
“I feel like I’m being a coward for not going over to see him,” she said quietly. “I think there’s a part of me that’s afraid to. In the past, it was easy to slip into old patterns and old feelings. There was a safety in that. This time…” She sighed. “I don’t know how to say goodbye one last time.”
Savannah willed herself not to cry. “I know the feeling.”
This time Grace opened her eyes and gave her a sympathetic smile. “The boys have all tried to tell me I should just come for a group dinner and not think about all that. Like…just don’t think about goodbyes. Honestly, I don’t know if I can.”
“There’s safety in numbers,” Savannah said. “You know, everyone will be talking and laughing and you’ll be sharing memories of happier times…” She paused a moment to collect herself. “When my dad was dying, we never said goodbye. Every time I left, I’d always say, ‘I’ll see you.’ That last night—which I didn’t know was going to be the last night—he said it first. I don’t know if I could have handled saying goodbye.”
Then, to her utter embarrassment, a tear fell.
And then another.
Before she knew it, Grace was clutching one of her hands. “I’m sorry. I never should have brought all of this up. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
But Savannah knew. “You knew I’d understand,” she whispered. “I’m not one of your kids or one of Cash’s relatives, but I’m someone who loves him too.”
They exchanged watery smiles before Savannah got back to business.
“Okay…so…your facial. You have fantastic skin and now that I’ve finished cleansing, I’m going to do a gentle exfoliation followed by a little steam. How does that sound?”
“Relaxing,” Grace said with a soft laugh. “And I really need to relax.”
“You’re in excellent hands and I promise by the time we’re done, you’ll feel much more tranquil.”
“I’m going to hold you to that.”
For the rest of their time, they shared happier stories about Cash.
“Any time I try to focus on the good times, all people want to do is remind me of the bad,” Grace explained. “I don’t need the reminder. I was there. And it’s not like I’m trying to give him a free pass or feel like he doesn’t deserve the anger, but at this point, what good is rehashing it?” She paused. “But if he asked for my forgiveness, I honestly don’t know if I could give that to him either.”
“Forgiveness is a hard thing and it’s not something you can just decide on a moment’s notice. You can understand why he did the things he did, but that doesn’t mean you have to forgive him. He put you and your children through hell and he knows it.” Turning, Savannah set up the steamer and adjusted Grace’s chair.
“You want to know something funny?” But she didn’t wait for Savannah to reply. “He’s never asked for my forgiveness. Like…he’s never once said, ‘Grace, can you forgive me?’ and I always thought it was odd.”
“Probably because he doesn’t believe he deserves it.” The words were out before she could stop them, and it was as if they both realized it was the brutal truth.
After that, they talked about food and music and overall thoughts on small town coastal living. There was a part of Savannah that wondered if she should be the one to mention Jackson and their relationship but figured maybe they’d save that for another time.
She rubbed in the last bit of moisturizer before stepping back and taking her tray of supplies with her. “Are you feeling okay?”
Grace sat up and grinned. “It doesn’t seem possible that I should be this relaxed from a facial, and yet…I am.”
“I think the environment helps too. Between the soft lighting and music…it all just comes together to create the kind of space that encourages us to relax.”
“Well…that and you have magic hands.” Reaching up, Grace felt her cheek. “I swear my skin’s never felt so good.”
“And it looks good too,” Savannah replied with a wink. “Anyway, there’s no rush for you to get up and go, so take your time before heading out to see Parker.” When she turned to walk away, Grace said her name and she had no choice but to face her again.