Page 17 of Only After We Met
No, there’s no one special. I do go out though. I know chicks; we have fun together. What’s wrong with that? You should give it a shot, Ginger. You don’t have to spend your whole life waiting for Dean to get bored and come back.
Why can’t you be the type of girl you were talking about?
I for one fully support not wearing a bra.
Not to mention going topless. Don’t stop yourself.
From: Ginger Davies
To: Rhys Baker
Subject: Let’s change the subject
Look, maybe it’s best to put aside the liberation of my breasts and my nonexistent sex life. Especially since yours must be way more interesting. Whatever. Right now I should be studying forthis week’s exam, but I decided I’d rather write you. I have a confession to make: I googled “DJ and electronic music composer,” and I know now what all those gadgets you had on your table in that attic were. How did you get into that?
From: Rhys Baker
To: Ginger Davies
Subject: RE: Let’s change the subject
You honestly don’t want to go on talking about your sex life and liberating your breasts? I don’t find the subject uncomfortable. I mean, boobs are boobs. And sex is sex. They should teach us about it differently in school, show us that it’s something normal. Maybe that way, girls like you wouldn’t blush when they said the wordfuck. Before you chew me out, I’m not making fun of you, Ginger. It’s just an observation. I like imagining a parallel reality where you adore every part of your body and enjoy it.
At least tell me you masturbate.
Denying yourself that is a sin.
At this point you’re probably banging on your computer screen, so I’ll answer your question: I ended up doing electronic music by accident. I was lost at the time and didn’t know what to do with my life. I’m talking about a year ago. I met a friend of a friend who was into it and let me try. And I just loved it. I don’t know. I just disconnect from everything, and all I’m paying attention to is the music; that’s all there is. I’m going to tell you a secret: it’s not my favorite kind of music, but it’s the one kind I know how to make. And when you’re doing it, it’s yoursevery step of the way, from the composition to the mixing to the recording. I like that. I don’t know why.
What kind of music are you into?
From: Ginger Davies
To: Rhys Baker
Subject: RE: RE: Let’s change the subject
One thing at a time. Yes, Rhys, I masturbate, even if I can’t believe you asked me that. You can rest easy; I know what I’m doing and I’m quite satisfied in that regard. I hope you’re not smiling stupidly while you read this. That’s not what I wanted to write about though. I mean, it is, but it isn’t. I apologize in advance, but you’re going to have to get used to me saying things likeIt is, but it isn’t, because lots of things are just like that, contradictory. What I was trying to tell you the other day was that it would be weird for me to sleep with a guy who wasn’t Dean, because I’ve never done it before and it would mean breaking with everything I’ve ever known. But I would like to know what it feels like to be with another person.
You and my sister would get along well. You think the same way, basically. Her name’s Donna; she’s three years older than me. She finished college last year, so that means everything’s kind of come at me all at once: she’s not in the dorm anymore, Dean’s off doing his thing, and I don’t know if the other girls in my year like me. They look at me weird when I talk so much. I get it, of course. There’s one who’s nice though; Kate, she sits next to me in statistics. I don’t even know why I’m telling you all this.
I like what you say about your job.
Honestly, I’m not very musical. Don’t hate me. I mean, I know the major groups. I don’t know what makes a song great or terrible though. I put on the radio sometimes, that’s all. Why don’t you send me some of your stuff? I’ll probably like it.
From: Rhys Baker
To: Ginger Davies
Subject: Listen to your sister
Seriously now, I hear you when you say it’s hard for you to imagine sleeping with another person after being with him so many years. I can’t know what you feel, Ginger. I’m trying to cheer you up, but I’ve never been in a relationship for five years. I imagine you can’t just erase that though.
Don’t try and make me get all deep.
But listen to your sister. She sounds like the kind of smart girl who’s always right about everything. Anyway, it’s a good thing there’s not much left of this school year. You should go out and try to meet more people like Kate.
Didn’t you have friends before you broke up with Dean?