Page 16 of Only After We Met
BTW, did you ever see Dean again? How are you handling it?
From: Ginger Davies
To: Rhys Baker
Subject: RE: You’re not crazy
Yeah, I saw him. Didn’t I tell you? We’re in all the same classes except for two electivesandwe’ve been assigned to a project together in one of them. Brilliant, right? It’s going to be hell. At least I’m in the dorms, in my own room, safe and far from my parents.You can already imagine how they reacted to the breakup. Bad. At first, at least. Then my father surprised me, like, “Most men want to have a little fun before they settle down.” You know what, Rhys? I think you’d be proud of me. In any other moment, I’d have just swallowed my anger, but this time, I didn’t. I remembered what we’d talked about, how it’s so hard to be yourself, and I wish you could have seen my dad’s face when I started yelling at him about how stupid and sexist what he said was. He was freaking out.
I know I write too much, the same way I talk too much.
As far as questions, I don’t know… Just everything. I need to know everything about you, Rhys.
From: Rhys Baker
To: Ginger Davies
Subject: RE: RE: You’re not crazy
You’re right. I’m proud of you. And you’re also right about what he said. It was stupid. You know what I think?Youneed to have fun and experiment and go on a million adventures. Did that ever occur to you? I’m going to ask you a question. Here goes (I can almost imagine you blushing): How many guys have you slept with? Or girls?
From: Ginger Davies
To: Rhys Baker
Subject: You’re an idiot
I didn’t blush and you’re an idiot, just so you know. Now thatwe’ve got the important stuff out of the way, I may as well say yes, just as you guessed, I’ve only been with Dean. What did you expect? I started going out with him when I was sixteen. I’ve never even kissed another guy. There. I said it. And worst of all, I don’t know if I could. I mean, I could. But I couldn’t. You know what I mean?
From: Rhys Baker
To: Ginger Davies
Subject: RE: You’re an idiot
I admit it. I’m an idiot. And no, I don’t know what you mean, and I couldn’t unless someone invented a machine for translating feelings that don’t make sense. What does that “But I couldn’t” of yours mean? Because I don’t get it. You’re very much on the earth right now.
From: Ginger Davies
To: Rhys Baker
Subject: RE: RE: You’re an idiot
I don’t get what you mean by “You’re very much on the earth right now.”
As far as the other thing… I don’t know, Rhys. Like I want to, okay? I do want to experience freedom… Do you ever just want to be someone you’re not? I do. For example, I’d like to not be embarrassed by my body. I mean, I’m not embarrassed; I’m like…shy. Don’t laugh. I know you’re laughing. I’m thinkingabout girls who go around without a bra on and don’t care, or those people you see in Europe sunbathing without a top. Or who wear some piece of clothing they love, even if it doesn’t look that great on them. Isn’t that wonderful? Doing whatever you feel like without thinking twice; it must be so liberating.
As far as going out with other people, I don’t know…
What’s your story? Do you date or whatever? I never asked.
Is there someone special in your life?
From: Rhys Baker
To: Ginger Davies
Subject: RE: RE: RE: You’re an idiot