Page 33 of All That We Are Together

“Take it. It’s free.”

“Are you sure? To what do I owe the honor?”

“To me wanting you to shut up,” I replied. “It’s a gift. A symbol to celebrate our truce.”

Axel smiled. I could see the outline of the dimple on his right cheek fleetingly before he turned around and placed the picture by the door. Then he returned to the other pieces, looking thoughtful as he walked around the room.

“We should pick five from here and five from there.”

“Okay, sounds good,” I said. “Any preference?”

“For sure. This one’s incredible.”

I felt naked as he stood there looking at a canvas of tones running from black to purple to garnet, with a girl in profile whose features could barely be distinguished among the vague lines, but who was very clearly holding a heart in her hands.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Depends on what you want to know.”

“I’m wondering about the girl in the picture.” He clicked his tongue. “The heart she’s holding, did she just get it back or is this the moment she tears it out of her chest?”

I bit my lip. “She’s gotten it back.”

Axel nodded, walked away from it, and pointed to a few others he wanted for the gallery. I wanted to take part in this, and I chose two I liked a lot. When we finished with the selection, he kept going around looking at the others from theunclassifiablegroup. For some reason, they were the ones he seemed most curious about. Seeing him there on his knees in front of them, he reminded me of a wild cat that only came close to eat before wandering away and continuing its life in solitude.

“Is the cat still showing up…?” I was about to sayat home, as if that place were still a little bit mine.

Over his shoulder, Axel said, “She died.”

“What?”

“She was old.”

“Axel…”

“It was last month. She died in my arms. She didn’t suffer. I buried her that same night.”

I was still sitting on the wood floor with my legs crossed while he went on sizing my work up. I realized it was late when I looked at the window and saw the sky turning a dense, dark blue.

“Those paintings…why’d you paint them?”

The question caught me a bit by surprise.

“I don’t know. What do you mean?”

“You must have felt something. Some reason.”

“No.” I shrugged. “I did them without thinking. Same as the rest. I guess the idea or the feeling just showed up, and I poured it out in the picture.”

Axel nodded, but I knew my response hadn’t satisfied his curiosity. I remembered that this was the thing that ate him up inside, not being able to grasp that painting was just that easy, letting yourself go, feeling, living through the brush in your hand…

I got up when I heard my phone ring.

It was Landon. I picked up.

“I’m still here,” I said.

“You want to have dinner together?”