Page 18 of All That We Are Together

“Isn’t it basically the same?”

“No, it’s not even close. They’re not even in the same galaxy.”

My brother had married his high school girlfriend, Emily, the only girl he’d ever had feelings for. I had been with so many women I could barely remember half of them, and for me, all of them counted asmeeting someone, and that never went anywhere.It was nothing like what I’d experienced with Leah. Nothing. Not even the sex, because with her, it wasn’t about pleasure, it was about…a need, as simple as that.

“Axel, what did you expect?” My brother was sitting on his board looking at me sternly.

“I don’t know. I was hoping…” I took a deep breath, paused, tried to clarify the tangled thoughts overwhelming me. “I think a part of me always thought we would see each other again, and it would be like nothing had ever changed. That maybe we couldn’t be together three years ago because of something about the moment or the situation, but now…”

Maybe I was trying to deceive myself, because all that time it had been easier to cling to that idea than admit that we might be finished forever.

“So what are you going to do?”

“No idea. Try and accept what this represents.”And die a little inside every time I see her. “I believe in her. I have to try…”

“For her father?” Justin guessed.

“Yeah. And for me too. And for her.”

“You know you’re walking into a minefield, right?”

“Things with Leah never were easy.”

21

Leah

“You can’t be serious!”

“Leah…” Oliver’s voice was soft.

But I didn’t care how tender he wanted to be or how hard he was trying to sound delicate, all I could think of was how much he wanted me out of Axel’s arms before, and I wanted to close my eyes and pound at him with closed fists. I was furious. Enraged. I’d accepted they were friends again and hadn’t asked for explanations of any sort, but it wasn’t my job to deal with his changes of opinion or all this volatility.

“Listen, it’s a good opportunity.” He sighed on the other end of the line. “I know the situation is complicated, but time’s passed. You’re with another guy, right? Axel represents artists, and…he’s family, Leah.”

“No he isn’t. Not anymore.” I hung up.

I hung up because I couldn’t go on listening to things that weren’t true, because it hurt, all of it, and because I couldn’t understand Oliver. He wanted me to do well and make a name for myself, but at what price? I wasn’t sure it was worth it to crossthat dangerous line. Especially because I knew Axel well and there was usually a reason behind whatever he did.

I flopped down on Landon’s bed and sank my face into the pillow. Since the exhibition, I’d felt unstable, without a center. Every time I remembered seeing him standing in the middle of the room looking at my work, I felt claws digging into my lungs and depriving me of air. And I couldn’t bear that feeling, that weakness coming back to me, the trembling as those irritated eyes of his returned to me, his expression…

His words:“I’m proud of you.”

I got up when I heard the lock turning. I grabbed the bags Landon had brought from the supermarket and helped him put the things away in the fridge. It was Friday, and I’d decided I’d stay there for the night: have a light dinner with him, watch a movie, fall asleep in his arms.

“This goes in the freezer.”

“Ice cream!” I smiled.

I kissed him on the cheek before grabbing the carton; then I put it away along with the bags of chips and other things he handed me.

I heard my ringtone. I’d left my phone in the bedroom.

“Someone’s calling you, Leah.”

“I know.”

“You’re not going to pick up?”