Page 55 of Crimson Kingdom

“Even if we could have, for now.” He took a deep breath, meeting my gaze solidly. “Do we really want to spend every Summit for the rest of our lives with me looking at you while you’re looking at him?”

I squeezed my eyes shut, the image flooding me with unimaginable guilt.

“No.” The word came out a rasp. “I could never do that to you. You deserve so, so much more than that.”

He put his hand on my cheek, but the gesture was more friendly than romantic. “I hope you know that you deserve everything, too.”

One last time, I wrapped my arms around him, burying myself in the safe, steady feeling of his embrace.

Then he backed away. “I’ll leave during the Council Room meeting tomorrow, to avoid a scene.”

Even now, he was protecting me. He hesitated just as he got to the door.

“Should I send him in?” he asked quietly.

Was I ready to talk to Evander? Did I even have a choice?

Taking a single, shaky breath, I nodded.

Theo gave me a terse dip of his head. “Goodbye, Rowan.”

It was hard to believe this was it, the culmination of everything that had transpired since I woke up in his dungeons, when I was just a reckless princess in way over her head, and he was the only person in that entire stars-damned kingdom on my side.

I swallowed past the lump in my throat, managing to speak just before he reached the door. “Goodbye, Theo.”

CHAPTERTHIRTY

Iknew I had done the right thing with Theo.

In fact, it was one of the few decisions in my life I did feel good about, making sure he wasn’t more hurt than he already had been.

It was nonetheless nerve-racking, saying goodbye to a man who loved me in favor of one who wouldn’t pull his head out of his arse long enough to admit he wanted an actual marriage.

Ifhe wanted that.

If what Theo said was true.

And what if it wasn’t? Would I really stake my life on maybes and somedays?

The wordlemmikkiplagued me with each heartbeat before Evander pushed open my door. He raked his gaze over my seated form, like he was trying to decipher the extent of any residual injuries before greeting me.

“Lemmikki.”

There it was again. That word.

“You stepped between me and a sword today without even drawing your own,” I began without preamble. “You could have died.”

“And you would have died if I hadn’t.” His tone was matter-of-fact, like it was obvious that he would sacrifice his life for mine.

And maybe it should have been. Wouldn’t I do the same for him?

But that had never been the missing piece with us.

“You asked me what I wanted to know, the other night.” When I had accused him of not being honest with me.

He narrowed his eyes, sinking gracefully onto the chair across from mine. “I did.”

I took a fortifying breath. “Then I have a question.”