Page 60 of Tarnished Crown
I didn’t know, but it hardly mattered now. As he had so aptly pointed out, everything else was standing in our way. Before I could lose my nerve, I sat down to pen him a letter in response.
I told him I understood, thanked him for taking care of Davin, added some platitudes that sounded nothing like me. Wrenching the door open, I shoved it in Kirill’s hands before burying myself in the covers once more.
Tears stung at the back of my eyes, and all at once, I missed my mother so much it physically hurt, as if my chest were collapsing in on itself.
I rarely cried, but when I did, she was always there, bringing me a pastry and running her fingers through my curls while I devoured it.
There were no pastries here.
No mothers. No Theo. No comfort or hope.
Just me and these blankets and endless, yawning days with nothing but my own tumultuous thoughts for company.
CHAPTER41
Days or weeks passed in this same manner before I awoke one evening to the door crashing in on its hinges.
I couldn’t dredge up much of a reaction. What was one more brush with death after the past few months?
It wasn’t death, though. It was worse.
Evander crossed the room to my bed in a few long strides, stopping when he was close enough that his knees nearly brushed the side of the mattress. His features were calm to the point of being cold, but frustration simmered behind his eyes.
“Are you ill?” he demanded.
I blinked once at him, refusing to move from where I was nestled in the pillows. “No.”
“Are you plotting something?”
Other than his untimely demise? I didn’t have the energy to spit that at him, though, so I responded with another curt, “no.”
His eyes narrowed in suspicion. “Then why have you not left your rooms?”
“The rooms you ordered me to stay in?” Though the words were contrary, my tone was flat.
“An order you have never followed.”
“Well, now I am. Congratulations. You finally have an obedient captive princess.” I rolled away from him, facing the other wall. “If there’s nothing else you require, feel free to see yourself out.”
There was a long pause before he spoke again.
“Tell me this isn’t you mourning your ill-fated relationship.” Derision coated his tone.
I spun slowly back around to face him, going so far as to sit up.
“Are you actually mocking me right now for the grief thatyoucaused?” I didn’t wait for him to respond before I went on.
“How exactly did you expect me to feel, to deal with any of this? You took me from my only family here, from a man who loves me. You took the hope that I could see my family again when the pass opens, that I could hug my sister and tell her I’m all right.
“You have takeneverythingfrom me, and now you want to mock me?”I clamped my mouth shut, looking away. That was more honesty than I had planned on giving.
“Trust me, Lemmikki, I haven’t come close to taking everything from you.” Fury edged his tone, and I found an answering anger rising in myself.
“Am I supposed to thank you for taking me but not killing me?” I scoffed when he didn’t respond. “I might be a cliché, Evander, but I am not the only one here. Another brutal Socairan Lord. What the hell do you even have to be so angry about, anyway? Shouldn’t you be happy? You got what you wanted, and all it took was destroying a person’s life.”
“And I would have done--have done--far worse to keep my clan safe,” he snapped. “Keeping a single person somewhere she’s been unharmed for a handful of months really hardly rates at all.”
“Sure, I’ll just be unharmed here for a few months, andlosing my fiancé!” I shouted.