Page 73 of The Perfect Secret

With numbers exchanged, it seemed like a weight lifted from his shoulders. He sat straighter with the familiar twinkle in his eye. If she let herself, she could pretend the drugs had never happened. For the rest of the meal, they made small talk, which was only a little awkward.

“Grandma says you have a boyfriend.”

Hannah clenched her fork tight. “Had. We broke up.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Me too. He was a great guy.”

“What happened?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. He seemed into me and all of a sudden, he wasn’t. How about you? Do you have a girlfriend?”

He shook his head. “No. I can’t focus on anyone else yet. I’m almost there, but not quite. How’s your job? Grandma says you started at a new place.”

“You have the direct line to my life through her, I see.”

He reddened. “We talk.”

“Good.” She told him about her new firm before she looked at her phone. “Wow, it’s getting late. I should head home.”

Jeff flagged the waitress with his debit card. When Hannah tried to pay, he shooed her away. “I told you. My treat.”

Could he afford it? He nodded. “Yes, I can afford it, don’t worry.”

“Thank you. Nice mind reading.”

“It’s amazing the things I notice when I’m not high.” At the door to the diner, Jeff stopped her. “Can I give you a hug?”

She nodded. He wrapped his arms around her and she fought the tears that threatened. When they pulled away, his face was red.

“Thank you for meeting me, Hannah. You’ll never know how much it means.”

Unable to speak, she raised a hand to flag a cab.

“Will you be okay getting back?” he asked.

One pulled up and she started to climb in. “Sure. Will you?”

He nodded and raised his hand in salute. As the cab drove away, she watched him from the back window until he faded into the distance.

Maybe her brother was back.

He was an addict, just like Hannah’s brother. He couldn’t give in to what he wanted—desired—craved—the most. Once, it was pain pills. Dan shut his eyes. Images from that horrible day flashed through his mind. Downing the last of his pain pills with shaking hands. Going out in the driving rain to get his fake prescription refilled. His apartment, door ajar, when he returned—he’d left it open when he left. The fear when he couldn’t find Tess. His own recriminations as he looked around the apartment for the items stolen while he was gone.

It could have been Tess who had been taken. But somehow, she’d been spared, no thanks to him. He’d gone cold turkey as a result, never taking another painkiller of any sort again.

Like the drugs he’d eventually gotten out of his system, his desire for Hannah would fade too.

Even if it’d intensified in the weeks since she’d been gone.

The irony struck him. This time, he couldn’t have Hannah because it would hurther, nothim. Dan looked in the mirror that evening, rubbed his hand across his jaw, swore under his breath. No matter how much he missed her, he couldn’t get her back. He’d been the one to suggest she distance herself from her brother. How could he justify Hannah spending time with him? Every time she looked at him, she’d see his past and be reminded of her brother. He loved her too much to hurt her that way. No, it was better for her that they remain apart, even if right now, the separation felt like it would kill him.

He turned in a circle and looked for a distraction. Under normal circumstances, he’d retreat to his puzzles. But he’d gotten rid of the one he’d been working on and hadn’t replaced it yet. He walked into the hallway. Tess’s door was closed; he debated knocking to see if she wanted to watch a movie. Ever since his breakup with Hannah, she’d been moody. While he understood her disappointment, he wasn’t up to dealing with her now. Walking into the living room, he looked aroundaimlessly. His gaze fell on the bookshelves. A book. He needed a book to read. Stores didn’t close until nine; it was only eight. With a shout to Tess telling her was running out, he grabbed his keys and wallet and left his apartment.

The elevator landing jarred his leg. He clenched his teeth. Dammit, this was not what he needed now. Awkwardly stepping off the elevator and out of his apartment building, he headed down the street and around the corner to the independent bookseller. As he walked, he noticed the couples on the sidewalk. He tried not to stare as they passed him. He missed that. With a sigh, he opened the door of the bookshop. The cheery bell announced his presence.

“May I help you?”