Page 36 of The Perfect Secret

“HiBubbe, Jeff.” She hugged her grandmother and nodded to her brother.

“Sweetheart, where were you?”

“I’m sorry, I should have called. I was with Dan.”

“Who’s Dan?” Jeff sipped a cup of coffee.

As far as she was concerned, her brother abdicated any and all rights to know about her life the second he took his first injection of heroin. If her grandmother weren’t here, she wouldn’t deign to acknowledge his presence. But Hannah wanted her grandmother reasonable when she talked to her later, and this was the second time she’d seen Jeff when he wasn’t high, so she answered.

“My boyfriend.” She walked over to the sink and helped herself to a glass of water. “You’re still here,” she said, over its rim.

“Well, Grandma was worried. I thought I’d keep her company.”

Hannah’s chest burned at the irony of her brother providing support to her grandmother, but she bit the inside of her cheek and kept silent. “Why did you come in the first place?”

He waved an arm over his shoulder toward the living room. “I needed bedding and Grandma said she had some extra.”

Hannah swung around toward her grandmother, who nodded in affirmation.

“Bedding, huh? Well, I’m home and I’m going to bed. Sorry I worried you,Bubbe.” She bent, gave her a hug, turned, and walked toward her bedroom. Locking the door, she got undressed and lay in bed until the front door closed. When she was sure Jeff was gone, she returned to the kitchen.

“Jeff left.” Her grandmother’s disapproving tone made her cringe, but she kept to her resolve.

“I want to talk to you,Bubbe.”

“I don’t think I’m going to like this conversation.”

“We need to have it.”

Her grandmother sighed and paced the living room. Returning to her chair in the kitchen, she sat, folded her hands on her lap and looked at Hannah. “Okay, go ahead.”

“I know you love Jeff, and I know you love me. I also know you want to do what you think is best for us. But your vision and mine are different.” She knelt by her grandmother and took her hands. “I can’t be here if he is. I’d never tell you not to have him here, but I would like to know ahead of time so I can make plans to be somewhere else.”

“Is that why you stayed at Dan’s so late?”

“Yes. I came home from work and heard you two talking. So I left.”

“He’s trying,Hannahla.”

Hannah shrugged. “I still can’t be in the same apartment.”

“So you’re abandoning your brother?”

Hannah’s ears burned as the first stab of guilt sliced through her. She didn’t want to abandon him, but she couldn’t continue to watch her grandmother enable him. “He abandoned me when he started using. I’m protecting myself.”

Her grandmother shook her head. “This isn’t right. Am I supposed to call you whenever he comes over? It would feel like I’m warning you. About your own brother.”

“I know, but it’s the best I can do.”

“You won’t change your mind?”

“No.”

“I don’t approve. I think you’re making a big mistake, and I hope you can somehow find it in your heart to forgive him. Because he’s trying.”

“I love you,Bubbe.”

Hannah’s grandmother shook her head. “I love you, too, sweetheart, but you were raised better than this,Hannahla. Everyone makes mistakes.”