Page 80 of A Heart of Little Faith
He stared at Tom in confusion. Lily had betrayed him, and showed him today she felt nothing for him. What was Tom talking about? “Thank you for your concern, but I’m fine. And she was pretty put together in our meeting. I wouldn’t worry too much about either of us if I were you.”
Gideon moved as if to leave, but Tom held out a hand. “I don’t know about you, and frankly don’t care much either, but Lily isnotfine. She puts on a good act professionally, and she does whatever it takes to help those around her, but it’s killing her, and if you thought about her honestly, you’d realize that. Now go, before she comes out of the bathroom and sees us together. I don’t want you to hurt her any more than she’s already been.” He glared and Gideon clenched his jaw.
“She’s not the only one,” he said through gritted teeth, before he left in a daze and went to his table. Lily emerged from the bathroom and leave with Tom, who was now smiling at and solicitous of Lily. As he sat at his table, he thought about Tom’s words. He thought about that night six weeks ago, and Lily’s actions since then.
Things did not add up, and he hated when that happened. Lily had betrayed him that night. He couldn’t see it in any other light. And she’d walked out on him. She hadn’t bothered to defend herself. They both avoided each other and went to great pains not to have contact with each other. But she let him talk to Claire on the phone every week. She was thinner today, but her demeanor in the conference room exuded professionalism. And now Tom said she suffered? Gideon didn’t understand it. He knew of no facts to support this, and what facts he did know, contradicted each other.
Thinking about her gave him a headache, but once he started he couldn’t think about anything else, no matter how hard he tried. He refused to be with her, but he ached for her. He reminisced about their time together, how supportive and loving she’d been with him, how they’d argued—and how often she’d been right, he conceded. He remembered the last time they’d had sex, and the thought was enough to turn him on. The only way he could sort out his conflicting emotions, or hope to work with her, was to talk to her. That was out of the question.
Or was it? It was time to grow up, to confront her and his demons head on.
Gideon wolfed down his dinner and returned to the hotel, ignoring the cold November air. He went to the front desk and asked for Lily’s room number.
“I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t give out that information. I can call up to her for you, though, if you’d like.”
He clenched his fists and the hotel clerk offered him the phone. With a deep breath, he took it and waited for her to pick up.
“Hello?”
Gideon paused. He’d missed her voice—the lilt in it spoke of hopes and promise. She hadn’t sounded like that today, but her voice now—that one little word—brought memories flooding in, memories he’d fought without success to forget. “Lily, it’s Gideon.”
There was thick silence on the other end.
“Yes?”
“I have a few questions to ask you. Can I come to see you?”
“I think Anne would be better able to answer your questions,” she replied stiffly.
“No, Anne can’t answer these questions.”
“Of course she can. She’s the best when it comes to marketing.”
“No Lily, she can’t. Please, I need to talk to you.” The only way he’d ever understand why Lily acted as she had was to talk to her. He couldn’t let her refuse.
Lily sighed. “I’ll come to the lobby.”
Ten minutes later, she strode into the hotel bar. “Gideon.” She held out her hand.
“Lily.” He paused, before taking her outstretched hand. It was as soft and smooth as he remembered, but bonier and icy. Despite the coldness of her fingers, his skin burned where they touched. He dropped it and motioned for her to sit down.
“You mentioned on the phone you had some questions. I don’t know what information you’re looking for, but I brought copies of the presentation with me, as well as supporting documents. Hopefully something here will provide you with the answers. And as I said earlier, I’ll be happy to have Anne call you tomorrow.”
“Anne can’t help me with this.” Gideon studied her as he struggled to adjust his perception of her with that of Tom’s. She still appeared cool and in control. He saw no sign from her they had ever been involved.
“Okay,” she drawled. A hint of something—was it desperation—flashed in her eyes, disappearing almost as quickly, and she turned away. “Why don’t you tell me what you need to know and I’ll see what I can do.”
Gideon inhaled, puffed out his cheeks, and exhaled. “I want to know why you betrayed me, and how I’m supposed to trust you enough to work with you.”
Lily reared back as if she’d been slapped. “How exactly did I betray you?”
He clenched his jaw and flared his nostrils as he made an effort to control the anger bubbling inside of him. How could she pretend not to know? “You chose Elaine and her lies over me,” he spat out. His voice rose and Lily shifted. She turned to him as a blush stained her cheeks.
“I did not choose Elaine, or anyone, for that matter,” she whispered. “You just think I did, and you’ve never let me explain myself. You refused to talk to me, refused to hear me, just like you always do. In answer to your other question, I don’t know how you can possibly trust me now, because you obviously never trusted me before. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have nothing more to say to you.”
With that, Lily rose and rushed to the elevators. Her heels tapped an angry staccato on the tile floor as Gideon raced to catch up with her. She darted into the first one to arrive and closed the doors before he could follow her. He swore under his breath as the elevator stopped on the fourth floor. He waited for the next one, which seemed to take forever to arrive. Minutes later, doors opened. He tapped his fingers impatiently on his wheel rims as elevator musak assaulted his ears, and he swore as the mechanized pulleys took their sweet time rising four floors, but stopping on each lower floor first. As he finally exited the elevator, he tried to figure out how he’d find her.
Then, he spotted Anne.