Page 64 of Wrapped in Winter
“Lily! Leave him alone!” Mrs. Nilsson calls from the kitchen. I walk in with her hanging from my neck and she laughs. “That's some wake up call!”
I chuckle and hug Lily back. “It’s all good. I love starting my mornings like this!”
“Nana made pancakes! Do you want some?” She pulls me to the table and I sit.
“That would be great.” I say slowly while looking at Hope. She smiles and nods noting there are some left on the plate.
“Would you like coffee?”
“Yes, please.” My excitement for the coffee doesn't get by her.
She looks at me with a raised brow. “Rough night?”
I squirm in my seat knowing she probably thinks I was up all night fucking her daughter. Iwishthat was the case. “Kinda rough.” I swallow hard as she pours the coffee and slides it in front of me. “It was a long night of things that haven’t been talked about.” I try to stay even toned in front of Lily.
“Momma is at the shop right? Are we going there next?” Lily asks impatiently.
Mrs. Nilsson cuts in. “Momma and Uncle Lief have a meeting this morning, sweetheart. Maybe you and Drake can go to the library first?” She leads with a tone and I catch what she’s throwing down.
I nod. “Yes, We’ll grab some cookies, hang at the library then go to the store, how about that?”
That placates her and she runs off to her room, yelling about packing bags.
Mrs Nilsson sits in the seat opposite me and I’m a bit unnerved. “Tell me how she is.” I move my cup around the table, passing it from hand to hand not really knowing where to start. “It’s okay, honey,” she lays her hand on my mug, “I’m just making sure my daughter isn’t having a breakdown. You can talk to me.”
I meet her eyes and they're kind. I relax a bit. “She broke last night.” I shake my head and drop my eyes to the cup, watching the steam rise. “I said some weird phrase and she lost it. Honestly I was waiting for it to happen. She's strung so tight.”
“She never grieved, Drake. I know a little about your story, I know you lost a sister and for that I’m sorry. Like everyone, we all have a different timeline. Despite being just two years apart,her sisters and her handled her dad’s death so differently. Her and Lief handled it differently. And I had no idea what to tell them, how to show them how to get through, because I had my own grief to work through. I should have put us all in counseling but she left, then Lief followed and I was left with Blossom and Meadow just trying to survive.”
I nod knowing exactly how she feels and she continues. “I’m not going to offer you a way out because I see you’re already in deep with her. And I’m happy about it. I’m happy she’s got someone who understands the pain.” She pauses. “But Drake, if you haven't worked through it, the two of you together are a ticking time bomb.”
I look at her and see understanding in her eyes. There’s no sympathy or regret. Just plain understanding.
“My parents treated it like a business. I wasn't taught how to get through it either. And it wasn't until five years later, in college did I finally work through it.” I take a gulp of coffee. “I don't want you to think I’m substituting one for the other. I didn’t come here looking for someone to fill a void. I came here for a fresh start because after my breakdown, I knew I’d never live a normal life still in the same space.”
I breathe deep. “I'd like to think my sister brought me here, to a place that's kind and full of love. To a place with found families who treat others with respect instead of with dollar signs.”
“I think you found the right place, then.” She gives me a warm smile as Lily comes rushing back into the kitchen.
“Are we ready? I need a cookie!”
“Get your shoes on, we’re almost done here, honey,” Mrs Nilsson says as Lily scurries off once more. When she wanders out of sight, she says, “you’ll be an excellent male figure for her, Drake. I have high hopes for you and I'm very impressed with how you've come in and turned their life around for good.”
I lean forward. “Mrs. Nilsson, I love your daughter, and I love your granddaughter and I’m going to do everything to make them both know it for the rest of their lives.“ The ease with which I say this surprises even me. And that's how I know it's right, how I know it’s true.
Her eyes shine and her bottom lip trembles. “It’s all her dad and I could ever ask for.”
Lily and I went to the bakery and had our fill of cookies. Then we went to the library where we pulled out books on the first day of school.
“Do you think they’ll like me?” Lily asks.
I furrow my brows. “Who, sweetheart?”
“The other kids.” She won’t look at me, but continues to flip through the book in front of her.
“At your school? Of course they’ll like you! You’re amazing and smart and anyone would be lucky to have you as their friend.”
“I don't want new friends. I have Joey. And Aunt Blossom and Aunt Meadow. And you! I don't need anyone else.”