Page 22 of Wrapped in Winter
~~
We left the restaurant and took the long way home. Despite the snow coming down, the roads were clear, and I didn’t want to give up time with her yet. The radio played Luke Combs, and for the first time in quite some time, I felt peace. I didn’t feel like Drake, the guy who lost his sister. Or Drake, the guy who was never going to be good enough for his dad. I felt like Drake, theguy who just went on a date and could see myself falling hard for this girl.
I pull into her driveway and park the truck, leaving it on with the heat blowing but turning the music down for background noise before turning towards her.
“I had a good time tonight, January. Thank you for letting me take you out.”
She smiles. “You’re thanking me for buying me dinner?”
I shrug. “I’m thanking you for your company. It’s been a while since I’ve been out with a beautiful woman who can carry a conversation.”
“Yeah, I guess our first date didn’t really have much talking.”
“Ah, so you are counting that as our first date?”
Even in the dark, I can see her roll her eyes at me. “That was an out-of-body experience for me, so I'm not sure what to call it.”
I puff out my chest. “I’ve been told I have that effect on women.” She smacks my arm, and I grab hold of her hand, pulling her in close across the seat. “I'm teasing you and you know it.” My eyes drop to her lips then back to her eyes. “But it was one of the hottest nights I've ever had. You need to know that.”
Her eyes soften a bit and I take the opportunity to lean in. “Can I kiss you?” I whisper and when she nods her head, I don't think twice. I take her lips and give her a proper first kiss, the one we should have had if we met anywhere but where we did. But I also do it to remind her she’s never felt what I can give and I want her to know it.
“I’m not sorry for how we met. Not in the least,” I speak against her lips before capturing them again, my tongue teasing them before she opens for me. I sweep inside, and she meets me. “I’m not sorry that I was desperate for you that night… so much so I couldn’t even ask your name first.” She bites at my bottom lip and I reach out, gripping her thigh. “I’m alsonot sorry that we were cramped in a stall, because I think you needed to let loose that night as much as I did. I think we both needed something out of the ordinary to show ourselves that the extraordinary was still out there.”
Her breath catches, and she pulls back, staring at me with wide eyes.
“But I am sorry that my first time inside you was overwhelmed by fear of getting caught instead of taking my time with you. I’m sorry that I didn’t get to taste and touch every single fucking inch of you. Because every night after, until I found you again, I hated myself for not memorizing everything about you. If I only got one night, I was going to brand it into my mind for a lifetime.”
“Drake.” My name leaves her lips on a breathless whisper.
“Know what else I’m not sorry for?”
“What?”
“I’m not sorry if my words scare you. I think you need to know there is still love out there, hot, made for each other love, that can conquer anything we’ve been through. Love that is stronger than anything we’ve lost.”
She pulls back, but my grip on her thigh holds her in place. “There's something here, January. And I want to see it play out. I know you do too, even if you don’t want to allow yourself the opportunity or acknowledge that it’s here. But I’m telling you I’m strong enough for both of us, to make sure we each get that opportunity. Let me be your strength.”
Her eyes shine in the night, the radio still plays in the background, and for the first time since we met, I don’t feel that January Nilsson is going to run. No, she’s going to stay right here, make me fall for her, and then break my heart.
I’m ready for the pain.
Chapter 10
January
“Do you know what you need to do, January?”
“No, but I’m sure you’ll tell me.” I roll my eyes at Blossom as I braid my daughter's hair. Courtney, Meadow, and Blossom brought pizza over, and we’ve been relaxing after a long week. I’m too tired to clean my house, but they don’t care.
“You need to go out again. It’s been too long since we all went out.”
“Eight weeks, but who’s counting?” I grumble.
I’m back to living my life chapter by chapter again. It's as if I’m turning the page to a completely different book with each new day. When Drake dropped me off last weekend after the second hottest kiss of my life—the first being the teasing, biting one he gave me in the bathroom—I found myself picturing life dating again. But I didn't want to date just to date. I found myself picturing many dates with one person.
Specifically Drake.
I don’t know what it is about him that makes me rethink things, but I found it very easy to talk with him. I’ve placedmyself on a level where men are not something I want to deal with. I don’t want to start over, have small talk, learn new things, and try to change the way I do things for someone else. No, it’s Lily and me, and we have a routine. She comes with me to the shop, then we usually hit up the bakery and go to the library for a bit. She needs socialization before beginning preschool, and it’s also a good chance for me to spend time helping her learn.