Page 38 of Return to Cheshire Bay
It warmed my heart to hear that. Being asingle mother came with enough stigma, but I was terrified whenthey learned I did it on purpose, it would be even worse.
“Thanks for saying so,” I whispered toCedar.
To the waiting crowd standing there withshock on their faces, but hadn’t yet as a group disbanded, I added,“I’d been having regular appointments, and the timing was right, soI went in for insemination. And it took.”
I pushed at a little foot digging into myribs. For the rest of his or her life, they would know how muchthey were wanted. It was no accidental pregnancy.
“And me? Did you just use me for sex?”Parker had every right to be hurt and had the shoe been on theother foot, I know I would’ve been too.
I shrugged. “Well…” The sex wasn’t as greatas Parker claimed, at least not from my viewpoint, however, it wasnice to have someone to chat with about Star Wars movies and have alittle warmth in my bed. “At some point, yes. But truth be told, Iexpected you to walk away from us before I needed to say anything.You and I weren’t really serious, and I felt you knew that.”
“Wow. Thanks a lot.”
“I’m sorry. You were…” My inner bitch wasfighting to be freed, but I needed to control her escape. I inhaledand held my breath for a second. “You were a way to pass time. Ididn’t see us in the long-term future. And you didn’t either. Wehad more disagreements about the littlest things than most peopledo in thirty years.”
“Wow.” He stumbled backwards and sent me along, painful glance before he broke eye contact. “For real? Yougot knocked up in a clinic? It’s not my baby?”
“I have the documentation to prove it.”
“Wow.” He snorted and rubbed his face.
The temperature dropped a couple of degreesas he shuffled on his worn dockers.
“Just one more thing. Did you ever reallylove me?”
My gaze fell to the railing I gripped withall my strength. No matter what had happened between us, I didn’tdare say the word that would possibly destroy him. Instead, Ifocused on breathing to match the roll of the waves – the onlyother audible sound.
“Well, fuck me.” It came out in a whisperbut grew in strength. “You know what, fuck you! Fuck you forplaying with my heart like that, you bitch.” He pointed to Eric.“You called me the coward, but who’s the coward now? She wouldn’teven fess up, until push came to pull, that it wasn’t my child.She’s the coward. I knew I’d done the right thing when I walkedaway. You can bet your sweet ass, I won’t be coming back. Now we’rethrough.”
Parker retreated between the houses andstopped. His voice cracked. “I thought you were different. Damn.You broke my heart, bitch. Rot in hell, you whore.”
Eric and his friends stood there as Parkerstormed to his car and squealed the tires as he pinned it.
It didn’t matter that he was gone, his wordsripped open my heart. All this time, I’d been the one who’d donethe hurting. I should’ve been upfront with him. When he left, Ifigured it was for the best, and he was right, I did take thecowardly way out by keeping my lips shut. Damn.
Cedar rubbed my back, which was now achingfrom standing in an awkward and tightened position. “I think you’reincredible to have a baby on your own. Towanta childwithout needing a man to support you.”
A weak smile crossed my face. I certainlydidn’t feel incredible. Not at this moment.
“Are you okay?” Willow asked as sheapproached the deck.
“I’m fine, thank you. Just a littleachy.”
“Have a seat.” She helped me into a chairbut stood abruptly when Eric returned and breezed onto my deck.
“He’s gone.” He leaned against the banisterafter he climbed the stairs. “Will that be the last we see ofhim?”
I nodded. “As much as I just broke hisheart, Parker doesn’t mess with documentation. It’s the be-all andend-all for him. He’s a huge collector of comic things and if stuffdoesn’t have the required paperwork to claim its legitimacy, he’snot interested.” I tucked my hair behind my ear as I lowered myhead. “I’m sorry you had to see all that. And to learn even morenasty information about me.”
“Cedar, I think we should head back to thefire.” Willow grabbed her hand and led her away from Eric andme.
“Bonfire time,” Mitch declared after givinga nod to his best friend. “Come join us soon, you two.”
Eric inhaled and exhaled and scuffed hisfoot on the floorboards. “Was that the truth?”
I gazed up. “Yeah.”
“You really think men love you and leaveyou?” The pitch in his voice was hard to deny.