Page 23 of Return to Cheshire Bay
“See you in a bit.” An unsettled a wave ofdespair in my soul roared to life with his quick dismissal.
Just before my ex walked out on me and thebaby, he’d given me the cold shoulder too. Said he needed time tothink about how his future was going to change abruptly, as he wasway too young to be a father and at his age, he should be hangingout with his buddies, not changing diapers.
The way Eric kept his distance brought upthat same current of trepidation, but at least with Parker’s, Iknew it was coming.
Chapter Ten
An hour later, smelling less like sex andocean and sadness, and more like lilacs blooming on a spring day, Iknocked on Eric’s door. Gone was the darkness, his eyes twinkled atthe sight of me decked out in a maxi dress, and I was grateful forthe emerging smile and the way he bent down and lifted my hand,delicately kissing my knuckles.
He helped me into his car, and we drove off,taking the winding road south to another bay. I kept my windowrolled down and let the fresh air smack me in the face since theswitchbacks he drove at a high speed made me nauseous.
Birch Bay Burgers was perched on a rockyoutcropping complete with a 300-degree view of the Pacific. It wason the fancier end of places to eat, given its isolated location,but in the grand scheme of things, it was still a burger joint.
Our server sat us beside a railing, wherealong with the amazing panoramic view, we also had a symphony ofwaves crashing against the rocks beneath us. In the far southernlydistance, a storm battled as flickers of light danced along thehorizon. The air was also a little chillier, so I was grateful I’dbrought a sweater, and I pulled it tighter around my shoulders.
“Thank you for this afternoon. I couldn’thave had a better day,” I started out saying, after taking a sip ofwater. Aside from cheap small talk and one-word answers to myquestions, there hadn’t been much conversation on the way here.
“Yeah, the waves were perfect.”
A low rumble of thunder sounded in thedistance.
I swallowed down the bitter taste of bilerapidly forming in the back of my throat. “Eric, have I donesomething wrong?”
Finally, he focused on me. “No. Why do youask?”
“I don’t know, you just seem… Distant.” Likeyou got what you needed from me and you’re ready to toss me in thegarbage.
He puffed out his chest but turned to viewthe surf smacking the rocks. “Can I be honest with you?”
Rising bitterness bubbled in my gut. “I hopeyou will be. I need that.” Oh, how I needed people to be honestwith me, rather than whisper behind my back.
“I’m very confused.”
I wrung my hands together on my lap. A partof me was confused as well since I couldn’t pin down Eric and hisflipping emotions. “What about?”
“About you and about me.” The breeze floatedby and rippled the collar of his unbuttoned shirt as he lowered hischin.
A gust of air sailed out from the depths ofmy lungs. “I’m not sure I follow.”
“You said you didn’t want anything from me,and you pushed back against my advances, and yet today, you kissedme, and we had the best sex ever multiple times.”
Although he kept his voice low enough foronly me to hear, I still couldn’t help myself, and I searched outthe nearby patrons to see if anyone overheard. If they did, theydidn’t act like it.
“What’s happening between us… it’scomplicated.”
“I can uncomplicate it. Real quick.”
The finality in his tone worried me andraised alarms that I had been right in my quick assumption. Ericknew I was an easy score back in the day, and now that he got it,he was through with me. He’d taken some time to do it, but he’dcracked my defenses and entered my heart. And now, he was confused?What was there to be confused about?
I tipped my head and pressed into the backof my chair, unsure of which direction was the best one to take. “Ilike you; I really do. I think you’re a very sweet guy.”
And it was more than that, but I wasn’tready to completely voice anything more. An overwhelming feeling ofbeing dumped by a guy I wasn’t even going out with threatened toundo the last vestiges of my strength.
“And here comes the giant but.”
“Not at all.” My foot nervously tappedagainst the table pedestal. “The thing is…” No matter how I wantedto continue the sentence, there was going to be abutor ahowever.Damn, I hated when a guy was right. “The thing is…”I sighed again because it hit me, like a bolt of lightning.
Eric hadn’t used me - I’d been the one doingthe using. He satisfied my itch, just like the others had done whenI was fifteen. Only this time, instead of being only momentarilyhurt by their rejection, I was feeling it on a whole other levelbecause… I inhaled sharply. Somewhere along the lines, I’ddeveloped feelings for Eric, which wasn’t at all fair to him. I wasa package deal, baby and all, and he didn’t need that.