Page 9 of Age Gap Bear's Enemies-to-Lovers Mate
The breeze as we drive home does very little to relieve my discomfort. What am I uncomfortable with, anyway? So, he took me out to dinner. I paid for the tip! So, he’s in my thoughts all day and night now. I think about food just as much, and about what shoes to wear with what skirt. It all means nothing!
We get to my house, and he hurries to open my door again. I smile awkwardly as I get out. The night is cool, but I feel so suffocated. I hurry up to my door, and Clint is right by my side.
“Well, goodnight, Olivia.”
I fish for my key. “Goodnight, Clint.”
I find my key and at that exact moment, Clint leans in and kisses me.
This is not a hungry, lust-filled kiss. This isn’t demanding or greedy or aggressive. It’s soft and sensual and loving.
I melt into it and return it with all the mixed signals thrown right back at him. We break apart and I can barely manage a “Goodnight!” before I get my door open and jump inside.
I return his wave with a small one and then, I close my door and moan at my idiocy.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing? That man is not what you want. What are you doing?”
I feel a wave of fear hit me and I run to my bathroom. I don’t get sick even though I feel hot and disoriented.
Fuck. I can’t be in love.
Iamin love.
Like some big dopey teenager with braces and pimple cream, I’m falling for a sensitive jock, so to speak.
No. No, I can’t be. I just can’t.
Chapter Seven
Clint
It’s another last day before I go away for four days and four nights at the firehouse. I open the door in the early evening and, of course, it’s Olivia. She’s lovely like she’s always lovely. She wears on her face the look I’ve become accustomed to seeing, the look of resignation. This is more of an addiction for the two of us than anything else. We’re not here to enjoy ourselves but instead, we’re here because neither of us is willing to risk the pain of withdrawal.
But there’s something about this whole thing that just seems really sad to me. Even after something like four months of this, it seems sad. There is no number of orgasms that make it okay. This can’t be good for us. So, even though I’m not happy about saying it, I say, “I think maybe we should just stop all this.”
“Don’t be stupid,” she says quickly. I can hear the near panic in her voice though.
I don’t want to be so close to her so I back up several steps. “This just isn’t a good idea, Olivia,” I say. “We’re just going to be hurt.”
“Stop being such a childish idiot!” she shouts. She has such a snarl on her face, and I don’t know what the hell I should say to her.
I’m pretty sure what I should say to her is most definitely not, “You know, Olivia, you’ve already shown me you’ve got much better things to do with your mouth than to scream at me.”
Wow.
Not only was that a total asshole thing for me to say (so that I sure as hell don’t feel good about saying it) but it hit her like a smack on the face. She screams and launches herself at me. Then, she does something extraordinarily impressive. She controls herself.
See, there’s no way in hell that I’m going to try to protect myself. She either knows that or realizes that attacking me isn’t the right course of action. She stops herself before she reaches me. She looks like she wants to kill me but she stops herself. She says with more restraint than it even seems possible for a human being to possess, “I deserved that.”
“No,” I whisper softly, “no, you didn’t deserve that.”
And then she just crumples to the floor, weeping loudly. I swear it’s one of those moments that you can’t believe without witnessing it. This whole last half hour is tragic and devastating but it’s also hilarious and comical. I guess it all depends on the soundtrack and the camera angles. Hell, I don’t know.
I rush to her and put my arms around her but she cries out, “No! No! No!” as she sobs and weakly tries to push me away. I just don’t know what the hell to do. I mean, I think she needs me to hold her. I’m also not going to ignore a woman crying out, “No!”
So, I just kind of lightly rested my hand on her back and let her cry. It’s almost impossible for me to do nothing else to comfort her. Hell, I guess it would be almost impossible for anyguy to watch a woman cry and do nothing but she’s given me no choice in the matter. I can’t just ignoreNo!on repeat.
But what the fuck am I supposed to do now? How in the world am I supposed to figure out what the hell to do in the first place? So, I kneel there with my hand resting on her back as she cries and she finally leans against my chest so I can hold her. “I’ve hated you for so long,” she whispers, “and I can’t…” She’s just crying softly now, and I don’t know if she’s telling me she can’t hate me any longer or if she can’t stop hating me.