Page 8 of Age Gap Bear's Enemies-to-Lovers Mate
He works a shift of three days and nights at his fire station and then four days and nights off. Then, they reverse so four days and nights at the station. I think those nights at the station are all that keep me from being with him every night.
And I miss him when he’s gone.
And I hate myself for missing him and I hate him because I miss him. Everything is a jumbled, crazy mess, and I just don’t really understand what the hell is going on in my head. I feel dumb. I feel typical. Do you have any idea what it’s like for me to feel dumb and typical?
My entire life I’ve been exceptional. My entire life I’ve looked at a situation and found ways to add value. Other people see a useless lot that can’t be improved. I see a parking lot that can help businesses that wouldn’t otherwise be able to build. Other people see a strangely shaped piece of land and I see a destination mini-mall.
I’m exceptional, I’m not typical. Damn it, my whole life I’m driven to accomplish more, do more, and achieve more. And now, I’m a damned slave to my enemy’s dick!
Damn it all to hell. I’m not a slave to his dick even though I’m moving my body like I am. It would be so much happier to handle if that’s what went on here.
I’m a slave to his voice, his mind, his words… Damn it!
I try to keep up with the analysis of this situation. I try to focus on why I shouldn’t be feeling what I’m feeling for Clint, but he grabs me and rolls us so that he’s on top. He ups the intensity, moving faster and deeper, and then, we groan together. Our bodies seem to react in sync, our orgasms building and subsiding together.
Clint sits back and offers a hand to help me up. I smile before I can catch myself. It’s just such a goofy thing to do, pull me up after sex like he just tripped me and fell into me. What is wrong with my head?
“Hey, you want to go get some dinner?”
The question makes me freeze. This is new. Normally, we just sit quietly for a moment and then, I leave. I can’t add any other time obligation to this. It might make everything even more complicated.
I have all these thoughts, and then I say, “Sure.”What the fuck? It’s like I can’t hear my own thoughts.
He stands and offers his hand again. “Let’s go get cleaned up.”
I should run for the door and stop all of this now. Instead, I slip my hand into his and stand up. “Okay.”
We take a very nice shower together, and the entire time I can’t stop panicking. The problem is that all of the panicking is inside of my head instead of out in the open where it can do some good. This is wrong! This is not the plan. What plan did I have, though? I mean, really, I didn’t think this out at all.He saved my life, which caused conflict, and I…
Wow, and I fucked him.
Yeah, it seems pretty fucking stupid now.
We finish and get dressed and then, we get into his car and head out to a little Mexican place he knows, Hector’s. Clint promises me they have the best tacos he’s ever eaten.Just a few words indicate just how… damn it, how ludicrous things are. I flirt with him about his restaurant choice!
“Best tacos ever. Absolutely.”
“Really? The absolute best ever? You haven’t traveled very far.”
“No, I guess I haven’t. I’m a homebody. But I know my tacos, Baby.”
“I’ll be the judge of that, Baby.”
The conversation continues, and the whole time I can’t stop from pointing out to myself how cozy this all is becoming. I’m relaxing with him. No, I’m enjoying his company for Pete’s sake.
Well, Clint is right.
I have traveled as far south as Mexico City and I’ve eaten a lot of tacos but Hector’s really does have the best I’ve ever eaten. We share companionable silences like a professional couple. My heart starts jogging, and not just because of the hot sauce.
How do I make sense of this? This guy who is making me laugh and sharing very funny personal stories is also the same guy that handed me one of my most humiliating moments. I just don’t know how to reconcile those two facts.
We finish dinner and Clint insists on paying, which gives me a small something to gnaw on angrily. But then he let me to contribute the tip, and I feel things balanced.
I don’t know what to do! Clint is being everything I’d find attractive in a guy. He’s just the wrong guy!
We walk out to his car and he opens the car door for me. Now, I try to remember how I felt about such chivalry but he just waits there for me to get in and I feel strange just standing there looking indecisive. I smile and slide in.
I watch him walk around the front of his little sports car, something I’ve never seen him drive until tonight for our… well, damn it, it’s a date. I watch him walk around, and I see flashes of that perfect fireman’s body naked, muscles glistening. I feel a bit hot and can’t wait for him to start the car so I can roll the window down.