Page 116 of Hurry Up And Wait

“And what about your friends?”

“Eli and Red?” She nodded. That was another fucking disaster I didn’t know how to deal with. They hadn’t signed up for any of this crap, and I wasn’t entirely sure they would stick with me. They were loyal to a fault, but this was beyond getting shot at. This was politics and it was a dirty business. The idea that either of them could get dragged into the senator’s machinations was more than I could stomach. “I have to talk with them. They might walk.”

She took a hesitant step forward, then another until she was right in front of me. “Bradford…I’m sorry for what happened today. I don’t know anything about the military or how horrible all of that must have been. But I know you’re strong. Whatever you decide to do, I’ll be here. And not just because I have to be, but because I respect you. So…if you need something, please let me know.”

I gave a slight nod before she turned and walked out of the room. I hadn’t expected to find an ally in my fake fiancée, but it was nice to know she was there, even if she had no idea what she was stepping into.

I sent off a text, asking the guys to meet me on the roof. I had no idea where they were or what they were doing, but I had some explaining to do. And before things went any further, I had to hear it from their lips that they were still in this, no matter how long it took until we could get the information we needed for Cash. He laid it all on the line for his brother. Now it was time for me to do the same for him.

I headed out, climbing the stairs instead of taking the elevator. Despite having run back here from the rally, I still needed to work off the energy rushing through me. I felt drained on that stage—utterly humiliated to be standing up there while the senator praised me for something I failed at. And when I took off, I ran for miles, never looking back or thinking about where my team was. It was the worstmove I could have made, and yet, they didn’t run after me because they knew.

They knew I needed space.

I didn’t need to explain it to them. Hell, anyone who had served could recognize that far-off look in another soldier’s eyes as they recalled the worst of what they had seen or done. I was a fucking master at hiding it, at pushing it all to the background. Humor was the best medicine for me, and working with these guys made it all easier than ever before. But working on this job with the senator…it sent me spiraling, forcing me to face things I wished I could forget.

And now I had to do something I had hoped to never have to do. I had to fucking talk to my team about my worst nightmares. I had to break the easy camaraderie between us to face up to what plagued me.

I yanked the door open to the roof and wasn’t at all surprised that they were already waiting for me. They were in the middle of a discussion but stopped the moment I stepped out.

I stared at them, not even knowing how to begin. “Well, that was awkward,” I chuckled.

I hoped it would elicit a laugh from them, but instead, they both stared at me. There was no judgment on their faces, only understanding, and that almost gutted me.

I sighed, knowing there was no time like the present. So, I launched into the past, telling them about what happened and why the fuck I ran when I was on that stage. And the whole time, they watched me, not saying a word. When I finished, neither of them was looking at me. They were staring at the ground. Hell, I’d be staring at the ground, too, if someone told me a story like that.

“So, there you have it. I tried to keep it from you guys, but?—”

“Why?” Red asked abruptly. “Why the fuck would you hide that from us?”

I rolled my eyes. “Because I fucking hate talking about this shit. It’s in the past.”

“Clearly not,” Eli muttered. “Because the senator just put it front and center for everyone to dissect.”

“Look, I know you guys didn’t sign up for this shit. The move hepulled today puts an entirely new spin on what’s happening and I wouldn’t blame you guys if you walked.”

“Thank fuck,” Red sighed. “Because I really didn’t want to have to follow you around the fucking country as reporters kiss your ass.”

“No shit,” Eli chuckled. “What a fucking relief. So…we’re out.” He nodded, holding his hands wide. “We can go home and Sarah doesn’t have to have a single fucking thing to do with all this bullshit.”

Honestly, I thought they would argue just a little with me.

“Man, Zoe will be relieved. Fox is driving her insane with his grand plans for this new baby.”

Red chuckled. “Best to nip that in the bud.”

“Right?”

They started walking for the door, and that was it. They’d just completely forgotten about me. I’d given them the green light and they were out. I guess I’d suspected it might happen, but I hadn’t really thought they’d walk so easily.

Red yanked open the door and headed inside, still talking about Fox and how he wanted to ply Zoe with Funyuns so the baby would love them as much as he did. Then the door snicked shut and I was on my own. I stared up at the sky and sighed heavily, wondering how the fuck I was going to get through this job without them. I couldn’t be mad. I’d given them an out and they’d taken it.

I just hadn’t expected them to take it quite so easily.

Metal screeched behind me as the door opened. Then Eli popped his head out, quirking an eyebrow at me. “Are you coming?”

“Where?”

“Do we or do we not have a job to plan?”