Page 115 of Hurry Up And Wait

But I would be complicit. If I woke up tomorrow and found out that Shawn had been murdered, I would know that someone had done it on my behalf. Maybe he deserved it. Maybe I should tell IKE to take care of him, but then I would have that weighing on my conscience for the rest of my life.

“That doesn’t make it right. I don’t know how you can even—” I stopped myself from saying something insulting. Maybe what he did was wrong, but it wasn’t my place to judge him. The stain on his soul was his problem. I wasn’t his savior, and I was more than positive that he wouldn’t appreciate the effort if I tried.

“I’m staying,” I finished.

He gave a curt nod. “I’ll discuss security with Cash. We’ll need someone posted outside.”

“I’ll be here,” Bowie said, walking into the room, his arm wrapped around Riley.

“Are you sure?” IKE asked, his eyes flicking between Riley and Bowie. “What about the garage?”

“Just until we figure something out. This asshole, no offense?—”

I shook my head, completely agreeing with him.

“—needs to be stopped.”

Again, I completely agreed, but how were we going to stop him? IKE looked at me again, like he was waiting for me to say what he wanted to hear, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t knowingly agree to the murder of my husband.

28

KAVANAUGH

The soft knockon my door did nothing to drag me from the hell I was in as I stared out the window of my apartment. I knew she was waiting for me. I could smell her perfume the moment she entered the apartment. There would be a lot of questions, a lot that I didn’t want to explain to her, but if we were going to work together, I didn’t see another way around it.

“Are you okay?” Her soft voice drifted across the room, easing the tension in my shoulders slightly.

“Did you know?”

“About the candidacy? Only as of last night. I thought he told you.”

I turned, swirling the drink in my hand. “That wouldn’t have gotten the reaction he wanted out of me. Besides, if he had told me, I probably would have walked away.”

“But why?” she asked, walking further into the room.

“Because the senator is only out for himself. You heard him up there today.”

“Yes, he was very proud of you. Your service to this country is remarkable. You should have heard him after you left. The emotion in his voice, how he told us all how difficult it was for you upon your return.”

I scoffed at her description. “The emotion. That’s a good one. Did he tell you that he didn’t once try to contact me while I was in the military?” She shifted uncomfortably. “Did he tell you about the time I was in the hospital and they thought I wouldn’t make it?” I nodded, remembering those dark days—how every horrific, excruciating moment replayed in my mind. “My unit was ambushed, and the family that was helping me was massacred. See, they were our informants. They put their lives on the line to help us gain intel. And in return, we were going to get them to America where they could be free. But someone caught on that they were helping us, and they died on the side of the road, gunned down before they were mutilated in front of us.” I swallowed hard. “In front ofme.”

“Bradford—”

“I took three bullets. Two to the chest and one to the leg. I helped one of my men get to safety, but that was it. And when help arrived, it was already too late for them.”

“That’s not your fault,” she argued.

“Maybe not, but when I was awarded a fucking medal and I had to stand up in front of all those cameras and—” I chugged the last of my drink, closing my eyes as I remembered the flash of bright lights. “It’s not a fucking publicity stunt. Those people lost their lives. And the one time I could have used a father, he was too busy to come to me. Not even a fucking postcard,” I scoffed. “So, don’t bother telling me how proud he was of me or how he knows how difficult it is for me. All he cares about is voter sympathy. Another fucking thing to add to his portfolio to make him look good.”

The way she looked at me, like she could tell how hard this was and only wanted to help me, nearly had me going to her. Not for lust, but just to know that there was someone who understood how much this fucking sucked.

“I’m sorry. If I had known…”

“That’s why I told you to be careful around him. You’re stuck in this contract, but don’t be fooled by his motives. He doesn’t care about you or what you need. He only cares if it will make him look good for his campaign.”

She nodded, twisting her fingers as she stared at the ground. “What will you do?”

I sighed heavily, pressing my fingers against my tired eyes. “I really don’t know. I need to talk with my boss, and then I need to figure out a way to deal with the senator.”