Page 21 of Snowed In with My Ex

“Here.” He tugged, but I didn’t go to him.Not immediately, at least.

“But I’m fine right here—" Not that he listened. He pulled me over, settling me on his lap, my legs straddling his thighs.

“Wow,” I gasped and chewed on my bottom lip, “Win, I don’t know if this is the best idea.” It felt good. Too good. Being that close to Winston made my head all fuzzy and a little lust drunk. Especially after having been without him for so long.

“Shh,” he soothed. “Please? Give me a moment?” he asked gently before he pressed his forehead against mine.

I did as he asked, and while we sat in silence for a moment, I stupidly soaked in his heat, every little thing I felt. The way hisbody felt like it surrounded me. As much as I shouldn’t, it felt like I had the best seat in the cabin. I loved sitting on his lap.

Win was so big and strong. It always felt like no matter what, being that close, nothing bad could ever happen to me. To us.

“I missed you,” he rumbled, breaking the silence. His mouth was so close to mine, I felt every exhale. “Missed this. Missed you so damn much, beautiful.” His breath tickled my skin before his lips moved to the line of my neck. Instead of pulling back, I tilted my head like an idiot, giving him access to my flesh.

“Winston,” I breathed. His lips brushed against my pulse point.

“I’m sorry. I’m really fucking sorry,” he apologized. The rumbly tortured tone of his voice made my skin break out into gooseflesh.

“I was so damn stupid. I was—“ The pause in his voice had me pulling back resting my hands on his shoulders. I licked my lips, loving the taste of him on them, before I frowned.

“Was there someone else?” The question tumbled out before I could stop it. I’d asked that the night I’d broken it off with him. He’d denied it, but I wasn’t sure what else could have made him change so much.

“No!” My shoulders relaxed. Maybe it was stupid to believe him so easily, but there was something about the way he answered, the way he looked at me, I couldn’t not believe him. I trusted him. I just hoped I wouldn’t regret it.

“Was it me?” I asked, because if we were going to talk, I needed my questions answered.

“Yes. No. Not the way you think. Shit, I’m making a mess of this.”

“Talk to me. Please, Win. I want to understand,” I pleaded.

“Daddy,” he corrected, and I swallowed hard. I wasn’t sure I was ready to call him that again. Not after how much it’d hurt tolet him in, to trust him with everything I was, then have him hurt me like he had.

“Winston––“

“I love you.” Those three little words sounded good. I’d known he had felt that way even if we hadn’t said it out loud.But three sweet words can’t fix everything.

“Win—"

“I do,” he rasped. “I should have told you that before.” His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down. “Allie, I love you like I never thought was possible. I mean, shit, baby, I had already come to terms with the fact I would probably be a bachelor for the rest of my days. I was okay with that.” He swallowed hard. “Then you came into my life…” His lips tipped up. “And I fell so damn hard, so damn fast. I saw you, and I just… I knew you were it for me. Hell, we clicked on every level possible. In and out of the bedroom. I didn’t know which way was up.” I blinked, slowly processing what he had just said.

“I fell hard, and the things I wanted—" His voice cracked before a moment of silence fell between us.

“You wanted what?”

“Everything,” he rasped. “I wanted everything with you.” I blinked and watched him for a beat.Everything?He made that sound like it was a bad thing.

“I don’t understand.”

“You have goals, princess,” his voice rasped. “You’re working at a great firm and––“ Winston cleared his throat, his brows bunched together, and suddenly, I saw it. This heavy weight on his shoulders. One I recognized from when he started to change. “All I could think about was stealing your birth control and coming deep inside you.”

“What?” I gasped. His smoldering gaze connected with mine. Out of all the things I had come up with about why he had changed, that hadn’t crossed my mind.Not even a little bit.

“You heard me, princess.” His hands grazed up my arms, up my neck and into my hair before cupping my face, tilting it up to force me to look at him more closely. “I wanted to toss your pills down the goddamn toilet and flush each one down.”

“That’s not good for the environment,” I mumbled like an idiot.

“I wanted to rip the condom off every time I fucked you doggy style. Lie to you that I was still wearing it before I creamed you so fucking full it dripped out of your sweet little hole only for me to push it back in.” The image was so real in my head, I started to squirm on his lap.

“Winston.” I shivered.