Page 35 of A Reputation Dark & Deadly

Who knew what really went on in his head?

"What the fuck is going on here?" Logan asked, wrinkling his brow and looking between Peyton and Brandon. His eyes finally rested on Peyton and he waited to hear from her, as though he trusted her answer more than his brother's. Which was something else that was odd but not something she wanted to think about too much.

"Nothing," Brandon said. "Just waiting for you to come back so I can close everything down." There was a cutting edge to his tone, an edge that shouldn't really be there if they were as chummy as Brandon made them out to be. Peyton could be hearing things, but the tone sounded competitive and even slightly bitter.

Maybe it was a sibling thing.

Logan looked at Peyton, waiting for some kind of confirmation. She refused to look at Brandon. Instead, she clenched her jaw and nodded her head once, wanting nothing more than just to leave and be alone and get away. Her breathing was somewhat ragged after struggling with Brandon but she tried to hold it inside so Logan wouldn't realize something was amiss. Somehow, Logan didn't look like he fully believed her but he nodded in response. They had an entire conversation with gestures and eye contact and Peyton hated it. She hated the feelings she had, the utter pit of disappointment that sank deep within her stomach and sucked at her life force.

"Let's go, then," Logan said, nodding his head to his car. He looked at his brother, not bothering to hide his suspicion, but finally nodded, not saying a word to him.

Peyton let out a sigh of relief and all but dashed to his side, making sure not to touch him. She walked briskly to his car and opened the passenger seat without saying a word. He followed and got in after she was already buckled in and her forehead was resting on the cool glass of the window.

He started the car and pulled out of the parking lot. From the corner of her eye, she noticed that Brandon still stood there, watching. She made sure to ignore him, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of watching him as they left.

"What the fuck was that about?" Logan's voice was low but not mean or demanding. If Peyton had to put a word to his tone, she would say he was curious. And maybe even a little bit concerned.

"What do you mean?" Peyton asked. She didn't look at him, didn't even move her head from the window.

"Don't play dumb with me, sweetheart," he said. "It's not a good look on you."

Peyton pressed her lips together, still staring out the window. She didn't want to get into this now, not when she was still processing what happened and trying to figure out just what was whose fault and who was wrong. She could feel his eyes on her profile, burning a hole in her skin, and she knew he expected some kind of answer because the way he penetrated her flesh was both demanding and impatient.

"I don't want to talk about it," she told him, throwing a glance over her shoulder so she could lock eyes with him. It was an honest answer, vague but also to the point. She didn't think she needed to explain it further but the wrinkle in his brow told her otherwise. He all but growled as he pulled over the car to the side of the road and put it into park, leaving the engine running so the heat would stay on for her benefit. Because he knew, without her having to say anything, that she was cold.

"What happened?" he asked again, this time ensuring his voice wasn't rough or aggressive. It was difficult for him; she could tell by the restraint in his voice, but the effort was there, which meant he was trying. And that had to count for something. "If you don't want to be with me, I can fucking respect that. I'm not some boy who's going to get fucking upset that you don't want to be with him."

"Be with you?" Peyton asked, thrown by his question. She quirked a brow and shot him a look. "You don't like relationships. You don't want to commit to anyone. You just want to sleep around with whoever your TA is. Next quarter, it'll be someone - or someones - else. You'll get over me with a snap of your fingers." She snapped to emphasize her point. "I can't be with someone like that. I don't just want to sleep around. I want to be in a committed, monogamous relationship with someone. And I know that isn't you."

Logan's eyes were dark but Peyton couldn't decipher the meaning behind it. She wasn't exactly sure what that meant, if that was a good thing or not, but he looked angry. She wasn't sure why, considering she had told him the truth and that was what he wanted from her in the first place.

"Who the fuck told you that?" he asked. "You've never asked what I wanted and yet, you're sitting here, telling me what I want and who I want it with. Have you ever thought that maybe you should fucking ask me what I want instead of listening to people who have their own agenda? You claim you want to be in a relationship yet you can't grasp the most simple fucking concept that has to work for any relationship to succeed and that's communication. So don't preach like you know everything there fucking is to know about relationships when you don't know shit."

"Oh, and you do?" Peyton challenged, an aggressive gleam in her eye. "You know all about relationships, right? You're scared of them. You don't even want to be in one. You like sleeping with twenty-something TA's because there's a good chance they don't want commitment either. Not only are you intimidating but you're dangerous and bad and that's fun for a while but not fun long term. You aren't the one they'll bring home to meet their mothers."

"Maybe I don't want to fucking meet their mothers," Logan said through gritted teeth. "Maybe I don't want to commit to these girls who so easily spread their legs for an older professor. I'm just something they can cross off their bucket list. I'm just a boost in their precarious confidence because they can't seem to find it within themselves."

Peyton's mouth dropped open. "You think you're doing them a favor?" she asked, completely flabbergasted at his words.

"It's a mutually beneficial relationship," Logan pointed out, his tone defensive. Peyton pressed her lips together. Perhaps she shouldn't come across so judgmental but it was hard not to be surprised by his justification of his resistance to relationships and monogamy. "We both get what we want out of it and then we leave. No one gets hurt."

"Tell that to your TA who kissed you," Peyton snarled. She had no idea why she was getting so defensive of a girl she didn't know but she was. Perhaps she was projecting herself onto this idea of a girl who had feelings for Logan and was so callously removed from his life because she wore her heart on her sleeve. "She genuinely liked you and you got rid of her because you didn't want to admit that maybe people aren't as hollow as you are. She cared about you. She broke your rules and you got rid of her."

"What's your point?" Logan asked through a growl. From the corner of her eye, she could see Logan's grip on the gear shift tighten, his knuckles turning white against the dark interior.

"I broke your rules, too," she said. "I kissed you. Multiple times. I care about you. Despite my better judgments, I'm fucking attracted to you and I actually like you. I think you're a good person even though you're the biggest asshole on the planet." She searched his eyes. They dimmed to a burnt gold rather than a dancing, fierce flame. Without warning, rain began to fall on the car, at first, coming down in small drops before getting harder and heavier. "Why haven't you gotten rid of me? What makes me different? Is it because I'm your only TA this quarter? Is that it?"

Logan continued to stare at Peyton, his lips a tiny straight line, his eyes hard and amber.

"What?" Peyton asked, wrinkling her brow. Her body was already twisted to face him and she bent her knee and rested her ankle by her crotch so it stretched out on the seat. "You always have something to say. Say something."

"What the fuck do you want me to say?" he asked.

Peyton stopped, letting his words sink in. Her heart slowed to a piercing blow with each passing beat and she stared at him, pensive and maybe even disappointed. She knew what she wanted him to say. She knew what she needed to hear him say. But he wasn't going to lie to her. He wasn't going to tell her what she wanted to hear. He wasn't that guy. And that was why she liked him. Because he didn't bullshit under any circumstances. She just wished maybe he would make an exception.

"Nothing." She sat back. "Nothing." She shook her head. "You've said enough."

"And what the fuck does that mean?" he growled.